Battle in Me
by LastDayOfMagic
Summary: If anything happened to Katerina, he would descend upon Elena.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I don't even know what this is. AU if something happened to Katherine, I guess? Elijah caught between affections for doppelgängers? I guess we will see!_

* * *

_"Katherine's done, Stefan. I took care of her."_

Rebekah's voice wafted through the background, and Elijah nearly crushed the phone in his hand. A panicked breath came from the other end.

"Elijah-" Stefan said.

"I'll tell Elena you said goodbye," Elijah growled before snapping the phone closed and shoving it into his pocket.

Elena's eyes widened briefly when she saw the rage upon his face, and she winced when he snatched her arm into his grip. "Are you sure-"

"They were warned. Now walk."

"If you're going to kill me, you might as well do it right here. Make a big bloody statement. Why waste time?"

"Walk, Elena."

His eyes flashed as she stood stubbornly still. She swallowed at the adrenaline starting to course through her, and she knew her best chance at survival would be to go along with his demands. She wasn't sure why she cared if she lived... she wasn't exactly afraid of death, she wasn't exactly _anything_. But the timing - and the vampire who planned to murder her - didn't seem right. Of all the ways she'd imagined her death, this wasn't one of the scenarios.

So she walked, down the street, to his car. His eyes flitted about and kept watch for either of the Salvatores, his hand protectively under her elbow and ready to pull her into the shadows, But she felt as though she was in a daze. She didn't want to die, but she didn't want to deal with Stefan or Damon either.

He was quiet until they were on some desolate stretch of country highway, his black Mercedes purring along conspicuously. Surely the farmers weren't used to this sort of vehicle passing by everyday, and if the others traveled this way they would find her. Again, the thought left her numb, and she crossed her arms uncomfortably.

"I know you think I'm a fool, after all the trouble she's caused," he began.

Elena shrugged without moving her gaze from the road. "You can love whomever you like, Elijah. I don't care."

"You seemed to care when you called me an idiot."

"I would have cared once. I don't now."

"Ah, I forgot. No humanity, no compassion."

"Nope," she said, raising her chin defiantly as their eyes met. "And I suppose you're no longer enamored with me, the compassion-less Elena. Should make it easier to kill me, rid yourself of this doppelgänger affliction you have."

His mouth twisted, eyes narrowing as he studied her. "Are you trying to wound me?"

"No, but I can't understand how you could defend her after finding out that she murdered Jeremy."

"Much as I've defended you, to myself, after finding out you had a hand in the murders of Finn and Kol."

His expression was one of morbid satisfaction now, as though he'd caught her in her own trap. And that left her feeling irritated. "Your family has tried to destroy mine since they've arrived in Mystic Falls. It's not like it's ever been unprovoked. And honestly, if Klaus didn't sire our whole bloodline, he'd be dead now too."

"Is that so?"

"I'd only be doing what you promised before the sacrifice and never followed through on."

"Stefan and Damon would have died," he reminded her.

"And they've lived for over a hundred years. Unlike us lowly humans - Jeremy and Ric, Jenna, John..." She stared him down. "Me."

He sighed. "I never meant for this to happen to you... I know the role I played. And I carry more regret than you can imagine."

"And yet you stayed away. You left me in the hands of the Salvatores and Caroline to figure out how to be a vampire. _Excellent_ judgement call."

"I thought I'd be the last person you'd want to see."

She settled back into her seat, shaking her head, but apparently her avoidance piqued his curiosity.

"Wasn't I?"

"Does it matter? Whatever I felt then, I don't now. And you've been in love with Katherine this whole time... and now she's dead and you want to kill me as an act of revenge."

"That's where you're wrong, Elena. It means everything."

She paused in contemplation, fighting against the urge to spill the contents of her soul. "Why should I confess my deepest darkest secrets to you if I'll only die in the end?"

"Because I need to know if I'm one of those dark secrets. Please, Elena." His face broke, only for a second, but it was enough to startle her. She realized he was on the verge of breaking down, underneath that carefully constructed suave exterior. "If Katerina is gone, then it's a lesson... I can't waste centuries more burying what I feel, only to lose it in the end."

It took her a moment to clear her head, to find her voice. "What... what are you saying?"

"That I knew it was you," he confessed.

He leaned in closer, and she held her breath in anticipation as his mouth descended on hers. There was no awkwardness as there was earlier, when she was playing in an uncomfortable role. No, now it was just her and Elijah as she lost herself in the moment. And somewhere, underneath the switch, she felt the jealousy dissipating.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: next chapter - thanks for the reviews! For those of you worried about kissing while driving - I assure you it only lasted a few seconds on a quiet country highway, & Elijah should have impeccable enough reflexes to multitask if human boys do. :winks: But I appreciate the concerns for safety. On with the story! Enjoy!_

* * *

But the switch shifted a few brief seconds after their lips met, and Elena pushed him away. She felt the car swerve as she opened her eyes, though it was only a split second before Elijah regained control.

His gaze narrowed. She stared right back, her eyes never wavering. "You shouldn't do that."

"You could've caused an accident," he retorted.

"And we would have healed."

"Not the vehicle."

She groaned, shifting in her seat. "Fine. Sorry. Just don't - don't kiss me again. I'm not _Katerina_."

"No," he said after a moment's pause. "I never thought you were."

And then he was silent again. She had the vague sense of remorse, but it vanished as fast as it appeared. Still, he looked hurt for that split second before his usual aloof mask slipped into place. She was fairly certain now that his promise to descend upon her was a bluff. But she wondered where they would end up, and under what circumstances.

oOo

Chicago, ironically.

That was where they stopped. She had recollections of the last time she was here, but it felt like someone else's history. She couldn't understand why she had gone to such lengths to recover Stefan, or to rebuff Damon. She didn't understand herself as a human girl anymore.

Elijah handed the car keys to the valet and headed toward the hotel's entrance. He hadn't paid her any mind in hours, apparently lost in thoughts about the likely death of his beloved Katerina. His allegiance to that conniving bitch was enough to make Elena choke. For some reason she still strongly detested her elder twin, switch or no switch. And she couldn't turn off her annoyance at his fascination with them both. But she didn't want him to _not_ fancy her, oddly enough. So many memories of the way he had looked at her, when she was human, as though she were this refreshing creature whose aura he needed to bask in...for some reason she envied that attention. He hadn't wanted to fix her then.

But she wasn't that girl anymore. And she didn't want to be reminded, or coddled. She didn't want him to try to draw that out of her, because if he did he wasn't any better than the Salvatores trying to overpower her will with the cure.

She didn't want to be weak anymore.

He had nearly reached the front doors, still not turning to see if she followed. She started to walk silently in the other direction, unable to speed away as there were too many crowds. But the thought of spending the evening in a hotel room was suffocating. She missed Damon and New York for a second, the heady exhilaration of feeding on patrons out in the open. Why had he gone and ruined that? They were having such fun, until Rebekah revealed he was only out to find the cure to force upon her...

Her train of thought was distracted by the scent of young alcohol-laden blood drifting through the air. She glanced in the direction of giggling to see a group of hipster girls a few years older than her stumbling down the street. Elena smiled to herself, knowing she had hit pay dirt. She started to follow them.

They continued to walk for blocks, and Elena started to grow bored at the repetitive brick buildings. This wasn't the interesting part of town, from what she could tell. There was no energy, electricity, in the air, and she was ready to move on to the next thing. She contemplated dragging them into the next vacant alley for a quick feed when finally they ducked up a nondescript staircase. She waited a minute or two before heading up the stairs herself, the interior far more luxe than one would guess. The attractive bouncer at the top of the staircase loomed in front of her, apparently wary of granting her entry.

"ID?"

She smiled in a flustered manner, drawing him close enough until she could catch his gaze. He softened for a second, and that was when she snagged him.

"You will let me in, and you won't stop me from feeding." She paused for a second, thinking of Katherine's last trick. "And you won't remember me if anyone asks. Understand?"

"Yes, I understand."

He blinked a few times after she released him, but she was already heading to the red-lit bar. Huge vases of flowers lined the counter, and as she waited for a bartender she scoped out the rest of the interior. Classy but edgy - brick walls, crystal chandeliers, funky art, Victorian velvet sofas in vivid colors occupied by clusters of friends and couples... some making out, some gabbing away. This wasn't like the sweaty dive Damon brought her to, though the music thumped through her body and the writhing people on the dance floor. But she imagined the blood would taste more refined.

She teased her canines with the tip of her tongue, moaning a little at the pleasurable ache. The bartender stopped in front of her, and she knew she needed to take her time. She didn't _really_ want to kill anybody... that part of Damon's _"snatch, eat, erase" _mantra was embedded in her mind. But she wanted to have a good time, which meant some drinks were in order.

"What can I get for you?" he asked with a flirty grin.

He was quite handsome - hazel eyes, dark auburn hair with just the right amount of wave, a black T-shirt with the bar's name emblazoned across the front and jeans that were tight in just the right spots to show off his rugged build. She wanted to run her hands over his muscles but instead she preened back with her own easy smile.

"A line of shots. Bourbon. On the house."

His pupils dilated and constricted, but his smirk never left his face. "You've got it, gorgeous. Maybe I'll have one with you."

"Excellent," she said, leaning forward with her chin in her palm and her hair falling around her face seductively. Maybe he'd prove to be a meal and a bed... and a little more.

He made a show of lining up the eight red glasses and filling each to the lip, no overspill, with the amber liquid. Then he gestured to the remaining shots as he pulled one away for himself.

"Lucky Seven, for a lovely lady."

"Thanks," she smiled again. His charisma was wearing off on her. They each held up a shot, clinking them together, and downed them. Then she worked down the row quickly, almost too fast for a human, overturning each glass as she went. She could tell he was impressed when she finished and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

She chuckled to herself as she leaned up and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Lucky bartender," she whispered in his ear.

"Glen," he said as his grin widened. It faded though, right as she felt a hand snake around her waist.

"Impressive show, Elena."

She frowned at the accented voice, turning around to meet Elijah's nonplussed expression.

"I figured you'd be back at the hotel mourning. Not the way I wanted to spend my Friday night."

"I needed to be sure my hostage wasn't wreaking havoc. Appears I arrived right in the nick of time."

She groaned as she turned back to Glen. "We're not together," she said apologetically. She leaned over the counter, making a show of leaning in close though she knew Elijah could hear every word. "He's more of a big brother... kind of with a stick up his ass. Think you could get him a lineup too, loosen him up a little?"

"Sure thing," Glen replied, obviously pleased that his chances weren't dashed by the arrival of this other fellow.

Elena crossed her arms as she turned back to Elijah, and she could tell he was trying to hide his amusement. "I've ripped out hearts for less, Elena," he said.

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, lighten up. And give me your wallet. He deserves some kind of payment after the heart attack you gave him."

He sighed but complied, producing a hundred dollar bill to set on the counter as Glen poured his shots. Elijah thanked him and then started to down the bourbon, his eyes staring into Elena's as he set each glass on the counter.

"Satisfied?" he asked after he finished the last one, licking at his lower lip.

She swallowed in spite of herself, not wanting to admit how sexy he looked at the moment. "Very," she answered, feigning the confidence she didn't quite feel at the moment.

She noticed then that he had showered and changed, his hair still damp, a black shirt underneath his suit. He was still overdressed for the clientele of this place, and she smirked to herself as she planned her next move. She ran a hand up his lapel.

"I think you could lighten up a little more, though." He watched her, his eyes curious but not saying a word. She pulled his tie from his neck and pushed his suit jacket from his shoulders. Then she rolled his sleeves up to show off his muscular forearms and unbuttoned the collar of his shirt. "It's a shame you stay so covered all the time."

She bit her lower lip on a smile as he arched his eyebrow. She slid off her own jacket, the humid air misting over her bare upper arms.

"Are you insinuating that you've wanted to see me uncovered, Elena?"

His voice was low, and she was thinking that alcohol may not have been the best idea, as her switch seemed more fickle. A wave of lust washed over her, but she hid it under a shrug. She turned back to Glen, who watched as she carefully set their discarded clothing behind the counter. "Safekeeping?"

He nodded before reluctantly heading down to new patrons calling for him at the other end of the bar. She felt Elijah's hands on her hips, turning her around, and she almost cursed herself for making him look impossibly more handsome. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Having fun," she replied lightly.

"At whose expense?" She felt her stomach flip as his eyes flashed dangerously at hers. "You asked me not to kiss you, yet the way you're acting..."

"No deep dark secrets," she interjected, maybe a bit too loudly, but she wanted to break the trance he had over her. "Just fun. And... I'm hungry. You ruined my meal ticket with your overprotective act."

She pouted at him before she snagged an unclaimed mixed drink from the counter and sauntered toward the dance floor. The crowd was like a singular pulsating entity and she wove her way to the middle. There were sporadic flashes of light but for the most part it was dim and blue - the perfect shade to mask any stray blood.

Elena settled into the beat of the music, sipping at her drink every so often - Long Island Iced Tea, she realized after a short while. Normally she had more of a tolerance for alcohol, but she figured it may have to do with the fact that she hadn't fed in a couple of days and her blood reserves were low.

And now was the time to rectify that. One of the young women she had followed into the bar was dancing near her, her eyes closed as she allowed the music to envelop her. No one was paying much attention to her between the loudness and the fact that her friends weren't nearby. Elena placed her empty cup at a nearby table, then she moved closer to her. Once she was behind her, Elena placed her hands in the girl's waist as they swayed. She opened her eyes in surprise and that was when Elena set to work.

"You won't scream. You'll enjoy this. And after I'm finished, you won't remember any of this."

The girl nodded, her face calm after the trance wore off.

Elena pushed the strands of light brown hair aside and lowered the high collar of her shirt, tracing along the girl's carotid and jugular softly. Her fangs ached and she closed her eyes, resting her lips on warm skin. She let her hair hide her face as she bit down, and she felt the girl's head roll back, mouth open with a sigh. Warm blood filled her mouth and she was careful to keep it all contained. She didn't want to lose a drop.

Elena drew in a few mouthfuls more, taking her time to enjoy the feed. She glanced up - no one was paying them any mind. Once she was sure she couldn't take any more without harming the girl, Elena lazily ran her tongue over the wound to slow the bleeding. She replaced her collar and let the girl dance off to her next partner.

She was scoping out her next feed when she knocked into a hard chest and a hand encircled her wrist to keep her from running away. She panicked for a millisecond until she saw Elijah's dark eyes staring down at her. As if on cue, the music slowed and he chuckled, hands moving to her hips to pull her closer. They swayed together and she swallowed around the knot forming in her stomach. Vague nervousness. She couldn't file it away.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Having fun." His eyes sparkled as he volleyed her earlier garbage reply back to her. But his eyes grew more serious. "You should be more careful. Let me guess which Salvatore brother taught you that reckless move."

She rolled her eyes. "No one saw."

"Dark corners are better."

"I'm not spending my life hiding in the shadows."

"I didn't say that was a necessity... but you haven't learned finesse. To me or any vampire hunter in the room, it was obvious what was occurring."

She frowned at his critique. If they weren't so close, she would have crossed her arms. "And there's better ways to do it?"

"You may rebuke them, but the shadow are your friend, Elena. At least for feeding in public, if you insist on taking that risk." He sighed at her obvious annoyance, and he tentatively ran his hands up and down her sides. She felt her irritation fading in spite of her efforts to stay perturbed with him. "What if she'd been on vervain? And you were alone? You would have dropped in front of the whole bar with no one to rescue you." He looked as though he wanted to say more, but he stopped. Respecting her earlier drawn boundaries, she imagined.

"I'd almost think you cared," she taunted.

His hands tightened on her, their torsos now flush to one another. "You wouldn't be here with me if I didn't."

The way his eyes searched hers, for some flicker of emotion... she wondered for a moment if he was about to kiss her again, just to test her switch. Could he see how nervous he made her? She didn't understand it. The lack of humanity just left lust before, and the option to exploit all interest in her either for gratification or for some subversive purpose. So why did he make butterflies start to flutter low in her stomach? Was it because he was an Original? Had he started to compel her? She was sure she would have known that - she remembered Rebekah's compulsion clearly. And it didn't seem to be a means he would resort to - he'd respected her mind since the early days of their fragile alliance. But she knew she should seek out vervain as a means of protecting her mind from him, just in case. She didn't trust anyone anymore.

And as he leaned imperceptibly closer, she knew she couldn't let him kiss her again. If he started, she wasn't sure she'd have the resolve to stop him. She pulled away perhaps an inch or two, enough to put air between them and so she could look up at him properly.

"Let's see your perfect technique." Elena raised her chin in challenge to him, but she was ready to move his attention from herself, so she could breathe. He nodded though, not letting on that he saw through her ruse. She knew he was so astute that he was practically omniscient, that it was nearly impossible to pull the wool over his eyes. Still, she figured she would have fun with this. Her eyes traveled over those around them. Her gaze landed on a woman wearing a corset, her arms and neck completely bare, her hair pulled up. Nowhere to hide the bite marks. "Her."

Elijah's eyebrows raised but he gave a slight shrug, as if to say,_ it's on_. His grip slid away from her and a twinge of jealousy flared through her as she watched the woman's eyes light up at his interest. He twirled her before holding onto her hips, her arms resting around his shoulders. They danced for a few moments as he edged her nearer to an isolated dark corner, and then they disappeared from view. Elena moved through the crowd to watch, and she could see the woman pressed against the wall, Elijah at her neck. The way the woman's mouth fell open, it appeared as nothing more than an intense make out session. No one else was paying them any mind - to the human eye, they drew no attention. They may as well have not even been there, in the crevice he chose, completely out of reach of any light. She saw Elijah press his thumb against her lip, the woman's tongue running against it. And when he pulled away, no trace. No marks. So much less obvious than shoving a gaping wrist against her mouth to make her heal. And no evidence of what occurred.

Elijah's face was completely human when he turned to face her, and Elena felt a pang of heated disappointment. She had wanted to see his vampire features - he'd kept them under wraps for so long. Curiosity was getting the best of her. Then he was behind her, his breath on her neck, as she watched the girl straighten herself and pay no mind to Elijah, as though he hadn't just been fused to her neck. She returned to the dance floor unblemished.

"That's how it's done," he breathed low against her skin. And as though he could read her mind, she felt his fangs scrape against the edge of her bare collarbone. Elena gasped, but when she whirled around to face him, he was across the room, at the top of the exiting stairs. He caught her eye just before he disappeared from the bar.

She cursed him under her breath, because of course he knew she would follow.


	3. Chapter 3

"Can you tell me which room Elijah Mikaelson is in?" Elena drummed her fingers impatiently on the front desk, still jittery from their encounter half an hour earlier.

The front desk clerk - Aimee, her name tag read - gave a tight apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Miss, but we don't give out room numbers."

Her blue eyes showed a trace of insincerity, as though she were bracing for confrontation. Elena instinctively bristled.

"Well, I'm traveling with him - I need to know what room we're staying in."

"I can connect you to his room, let me just find it." She scrolled through her computer screen, hidden from Elena's prying eyes. "Huh. Are you sure he's staying here? We don't have him registered."

"I saw him walk in here." She felt her frustration rising but she took a deep breath. "Elijah Smith, maybe?"

Aimee's blonde waves bounced as she shook her head, reminding her of Caroline. "Not that name, either," she answered, but Elena didn't miss her suspicious sideways glance. Elena caught her eye when she looked up again, and she was wary when the trace of exasperation didn't leave Aimee's gaze as her pupils dilated and constricted.

"You should let me look at that screen."

"I'm afraid I can't. We do have vacancies, though, if you wanted somewhere to stay until you locate your friend."

Elena sputtered for a moment, wondering if this girl was on vervain and if she'd just potentially outed herself as a vampire to someone in the know. She straightened, giving her best haughty stare. "I saw him walk in here, Aimee."

"Maybe he had the wrong hotel?" she shrugged. "I can't really help you with that further. Is there another way you can contact him?"

The urge to vamp out was overwhelming. But since she didn't want a mouthful of poisoned blood if she had to follow through with her fanged visage, Elena resisted. "No, there's not," she admitted through clenched teeth.

"You can leave your name and number here, in case he shows up?" She slid a pad of post-its across the desk. "And I can call around to some other local hotels."

Elena pulled a pen from the canister at the desk and she briefly contemplated gouging it through Aimee's eyes to get a chance to look at the screen. But she decided that would be too messy and difficult to explain, so she resigned herself to jotting her name and number on the piece of paper. Aimee's saccharinely sweet voice droned on in the background and Elena stepped away from the desk, eyeing her surroundings. It was an upscale establishment, with the open concept of rooms around its perimeter and a courtyard full of live greenery on the ground level. She saw a sitting area off to her right with a fireplace and windows to the street. She settled onto the Chesterfield sofa and picked up a weekly gossip mag from the coffee table.

She flicked through the first few pages of "Who Wore It Better" and celebrity announcements, finally stopping at a story about Kate Middleton's pregnancy. She was so engrossed in reading about England's impending royal heir that she didn't notice Elijah standing over her. She jumped when he said her name, and his eyes crinkled in amusement.

"I assume you're waiting for me."

Elena quickly closed the magazine and tossed it back on the table, standing until her gaze was nearly level with his. "I'd considered going home with Glen," she said, raising her chin. "But I figured once you tracked me down, his heart would be on the floor."

"Perhaps," he mused. "Though I think you're lying about your intentions. Something else is under your skin." He caught one of her red locks between his fingers and inspected it, the gesture bringing her back to the previous afternoon in the gazebo.

"I'm not Katherine, Elijah. I don't have any plans on ending up in your bed." She managed to keep her voice cold and even, though inside she was trembling at his proximity. He scowled briefly before an arrogant smile took its place.

"You're so insistent about that, yet it makes me wonder if the one you're trying to convince is yourself."

She kept her stare steady though his observation jarred her, and he was the one to sigh first, stepping out of her personal space.

"I suppose you're in luck that there's two beds in our room." He waved her forward and she walked alongside him.

"How come I couldn't find you?"

"Aliases, my dear Elena," he replied.

As if on cue, Aimee called, "Hello, Mr. Mikhailov."

"Good evening," he answered, and then he approached the desk. Elena watched as he crumpled the yellow post-it into his pocket and then caught the clerk in compulsion. "I'm going to take this note, and you won't recall ever seeing Elena if anyone besides me asks."

The blonde nodded, blinking as he returned to Elena's side.

"I thought she was on vervain," she said in a whisper.

"No, just my compulsion. No one else can compel her. One of my lesser known talents," he added wryly. They stepped inside the elevator and he hit the button for the top floor.

"And your alias?" she prodded.

He studied her, and for a moment she thought he might refuse. "Iliya Mikhailov," he finally conceded. "My given name."

He didn't have to tell her this was meant to be kept close to her vest. Somehow, even in her dehumanized state, he still trusted her to understand that he considered her worthy enough to be privy to such information and to not compromise him.

"Iliya," she repeated, rolling off of her tongue as though it were her native language. And somehow it was, an ancient innate sense within her. Elijah's face held a strange expression at hearing her address him as he hadn't been in probably centuries. "But I thought for some reason... that you'd originated from the Scandinavian region. That's Bulgarian."

"You don't remember when I told you my parents were wealthy Eastern European landowners?" he asked.

She squinted in recollection, the scene from the Lockwood mansion replaying in her mind - where she also learned that he'd cared for Katherine once. No, not Katherine... _Katerina._ The innocent Bulgarian village girl. There was a difference, in his mind. Though as far as Elena could tell, Katerina was out for herself as well... sacrificing the lives of her family to escape breaking the hybrid curse.

"It wasn't hard to find Katerina's family," he said, as though he could read her mind. "They lived in the same village we'd left centuries earlier. Travel wasn't as accessible then as it became five hundred years later."

He threw her a glance as he entered the hallway and she followed behind, not sure what to make of this development. Apparently her roots were even more intertwined with the Originals than she had once believed. _Not that roots matter when they're separated by one thousand years,_ she reminded herself. And really, it shouldn't have mattered. Especially not now. The old Elena would have dissected this detail down to its minutiae, but why did she care? There was plenty she didn't know about Elijah, and did she really need to? They were nothing more than acquaintances with a passing underlying attraction... soon enough they would part ways and she wouldn't know if or when they'd encounter one another again. Though he did seem to hold a soft spot of fascination with her, so she couldn't imagine he wouldn't keep tabs on her to some degree. But he'd never be a steady fixture in her undead life.

He opened the door to the room and gestured her inside. She wasn't surprised to see he'd reserved the penthouse suite with a wall of windows overlooking the city. She could see the Sears Tower lit up to one side and the Hancock building to the other. There was a park below in front of the hotel, no prying eyes to see inside the room. He came up beside her, hands in his pockets, his arm nearly brushing against hers. She watched his profile as he spoke.

"I never enjoyed this city as much as my brother and sister. We were on the outs then, after we'd scattered from New Orleans. But it does hold its own beauty and energy. Maybe more now than then. Niklaus always preferred to engage himself in the criminal undercurrent of our surroundings, and it was particularly intense here in the 1920s."

"Stefan preferred it too," she murmured. "He had his humanity off then. He was in full-on ripper mode." She frowned. "Which he keeps projecting onto me, and he thinks he needs to fix me. He can't reconcile that we're entirely different vampires."

"So there's the trouble in paradise," Elijah said. His gaze had moved from the cityscape to her.

She hesitated, but then figured if they'd be sharing space for at least the next few days, she might as well fill him in. It wasn't more than a thorn in her side at the moment - she wasn't wringing herself inside out over the brothers as she had before. Surely Katherine hadn't known everything to tell him, and there were certainly worse confidantes than Elijah.

"Partially," she said. "That, and my sire bond with Damon. Which he effectively severed when he told me to turn everything off after Jeremy died. But it wrought havoc before that. I'm sure you've seen it in action..." She raised an eyebrow suggestively, but Elijah only chuckled.

"Matters of lust don't fluster me, Elena. I've been around far too long for that. I'm sure Damon enjoyed your insatiability in the beginning, while it tore Stefan apart."

She nodded. "It was a mess. And then Damon doubted my feelings for him. I can't tell now if they were real or not, but it's better this way. Even, calm, clear-headed. No emotions to cloud my judgement or doubt anything." She gave him a sidelong glance. "I have to say, you seem very calm for someone whose lover was murdered."

"Ex-lover," he corrected her. "We hadn't formally rekindled anything yet."

"Still," she insisted, "you act as though you're ambivalent about the whole thing. After the way you threatened Stefan..."

"Do you want me to be a weak, inconsolable mess, Elena?" He turned to stare at her, and she wondered for a second if she was pushing him too far. "I will miss her, what she was - but let's not fool ourselves that she hasn't acted as _my_ Katerina in a long time. I'm not even sure now that I wasn't just part of one of her games. And I suppose I won't ever know. But it may be better that way."

"And yet you warn me about losing my compassion."

He sighed. "As a vampire, you see loss after loss. And eventually you learn to separate yourself, so it usually stings less. With heightened emotions, it's too much of a burden to carry every loss with you. So you adapt. And you would have eventually, Elena. But I'm certain you would have found the balance between caring and not spending your entire existence mourning. You still could, if you chose at some point to turn it back on."

She felt almost envious of his position at the moment, that he would have been able to reconcile the dull ache that she still felt below the switch whenever she pictured her brother's face. But outwardly she shrugged. "I guess that explains why you stayed away after I died," she said. "Before anyone knew I'd turned. I didn't mean anything to you at that point."

"How do you know that?" he countered, and some of her uneasiness dissipated. It was easier to deal with his reactions after baiting him than to feel him delve into her psyche, trying to gently steer her into flipping the switch on. "All of those sacrifices I was ready to make, for you to live your life as you wanted... I don't go to those lengths for just anyone, Elena."

"Except Katerina," she muttered.

"Not even Katerina," he said. "Yes, I wanted to save her life, after sacrificing her for my brother. But I was willing to put the lives of myself and my siblings on the line for you. So you could live. I could have just as easily snapped your neck to rid ourselves of the threat of Alaric."

"You should have."

"I couldn't."

They were in each others' faces now, and he looked ready to lunge at her. But she wasn't backing down.

"And why is that?" she asked snidely.

"You already know the answer." Elijah stared at her for another moment before easing his stance. She stared as he started to walk away. She sped in front of him, blocking the wet bar he was heading toward.

"Tell me."

"Why do you care, if you care about nothing?" He stepped around her, opening a bottle of scotch and filling two glass tumblers. He handed her one, a peace offering of sorts. "Or _do_ you care? Do you feel more than you choose to admit?"

"The switch is off," she said flatly, before taking a sip.

"You're beginning to make me suspect otherwise." His gaze narrowed as he studied her. Elena's heart skipped at the intensity of his eyes, reminding her that she'd never found herself vervain.

"Don't compel me," she warned him.

"I never would, not unless it were dire circumstances," he answered distractedly. "But you seem hellbent on wearing me down. You were terrified of me once. I can see you don't even remotely view me in a dangerous light anymore."

"Not toward me. Others, yes. I know you can still be ruthless if necessary."

"So you know I never intended to kill you."

"Well, I didn't want to call your bluff..."

"And why is that, Elena? Why do you think I'd again spare your life when I've killed others for lesser offenses?"

"I have no idea," she replied with fake naïveté. She made a show of sipping slowly at the scotch, never moving her gaze from his as she peered over the lip of the glass.

"You insist on making me look like a fool by spelling it out, then. With your humanity switched off, no less." He moved closer again, taking the glass from her hand and setting it on the counter. "Why do you think I kissed you?"

"To get back at me for pretending to be your beloved Katerina?"

He shook his head, and his hand was in her hair again, threading his fingers through the strands. He was in her personal space every chance he had, she'd noticed, from the first moment they'd met. And yet she never felt the urge to back away from this dance. Even now, she couldn't deny that she wanted him to push the boundaries. She suspected it was part of the reason she pried so hard at him, even now, when she didn't care about anything else. Nothing else explained why she was drawn to his presence at a time when she wanted nothing to do with those she had supposedly loved before she turned it off.

He opened his mouth, pausing briefly as he seemed to reconsider putting himself out there. But past regret must have spurred him on, as he licked at his lower lip and started again, his voice so low that she nearly missed it even with her vampire hearing.

"Because I love you, Elena."


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: thank you for all of the reviews last chapter!_

* * *

"Wait, what?" Elena sputtered. His palm curved along her cheek and jaw now as she looked at him with wide eyes.

"Don't pretend to be surprised," Elijah chided gently, the edges of his mouth pulled with the hint of a smile. Amused, again. "What did else did you expect my admission to be?"

"I just... you caught me off-guard. I thought that Katherine was the one for you... that I'm just some stand-in, for her and for Tatia. Some twisted bloodline attraction or something." Her mouth pursed around the poisonous sentence, where she reduced herself to nothing more than a carbon copy. Because essentially that was what they all saw her as, really - their ideal replacement for whichever former Petrova they couldn't have.

Her train of thought was derailed by Elijah leaning in, flooding her vision. She closed her eyes just as his lips pressed against hers, cautious at first, as he was aware of the chance that she would push him away. And that was her instinct, indignant that he was trying to play upon her lack of emotions to prove a point. But something deep within kept her there, maybe the past curiosity trying to push around the switch. She vaguely remembered how he had looked at her the night of the Mikaelson ball, as though she were the most stunning being he'd ever laid eyes upon. He hadn't cared about the presence of the Salvatores then, and something about his brazen admiration of her made her feel bold as well. In fact, if she hadn't been unnerved by her meeting with Esther, she often wondered where things may have led.

Now, she had the opportunity to find out... if she cared to. Did she? Was he capable of eliciting some response in her? Elena's arms drifted up and around his strong shoulders as she allowed her curiosity to take over. Her fingers languidly trailed along the nape of his neck, passing over the coarse hair there and tracing fractured designs against his skin. And her mouth parted at his urging, his tongue running over her lips, teasing against hers. He took her yielding as his permission, and she felt his hand traveling down to her waist, her rear, as he pulled her against him. She let out a breathy cry against his mouth at the contact, her lust bubbling under the surface. He tugged at her lower lip with his teeth, then pulled away just enough to look down at her.

"You aren't a stand-in, Elena. Even without your humanity, you're still your own entity. I've never based my feelings for you on your face." His thumb brushed along her lips, her chin. "If anything, that would be the reason for me to run the other way. And yet..."

He paused, watching her, and her curiosity built, her chest heaving under aroused breathing. "And yet?" she asked.

"Yet... you caught me. I've never been able to stay away, as much as I've intended to, every time." His tongue ran along his lower lip, his voice gravelly and low as he continued. "You're under my skin. And I would bet that ever so slightly, I'm under yours."

She bit at her lip, the switch making her want to resist, to dispute his words. She didn't care about anyone anymore. The false bravado. But the way his determined eyes stared into hers - it was like he could see all the way into the soul she had tried to forget. Just a look was threatening to suck it all back out. She took a deep, trembling breath, his arms still cradling her, but he didn't waver.

"Your deep dark secret, Elena - it's me," he said, certain and yet vulnerable. "Isn't it?"

Her gaze focused on the shape of his mouth as he spoke, an attempt to ground herself to keep some of her resolve intact. But she felt drawn to him and his words. It didn't feel hollow or redundant, as the Salvatores' pleas for her affection and humanity had become. They conjured no emotion within her. They could have run off with Katherine and she wouldn't have blinked. She might have even sighed in relief, to know they were out of her hair. But Elijah...

"Maybe," she conceded, sparking a glimmer of hope in those dark eyes. "But you weren't expecting me. So why tell me now? If it had been Katherine in the gazebo instead of me, we would have gone on as before, with no revelations of how you feel about me."

"Things have a way of working out," he replied, his gaze drifting over her lips before rising to meet her eyes again.

"But would you ever have told me? Or would you have 'settled' for Katherine?" She pulled out of his embrace and she watched the assurance fade from his face as she physically distanced herself. She crossed her arms, a biting sarcastic tone now in her voice. "I mean, regardless of what you say, you've professed your affections for three women with the same face. I don't think it's a stretch to worry that you don't care for me so much as the idea of an elusive Petrova on your arm, especially now that Katherine is gone. I'm the only one left."

He was shaking his head, approaching her as she took a step back. "What do you want me to say that you haven't already felt between us? What won't ring false to you? You're already suspicious of my intentions, though I sense that's because I'm getting too close." He stopped in front of her, squinting as he regarded her, trying to see some expression on her poker-straight face that would tell him if he was right. "Am I testing your switch, Elena?"

She drew in a deep breath, raising her head as if to dispute that he meant much of anything to her, as if she could just walk away. Elijah bit down on his lower lip, and she suspected that he was on to her but trying to hold himself back. She remained silent.

"Would you like me to tell you how I've never said I loved Katerina? I cared for her, romanticized the idea of her... but it would have never worked. Even as a human she used her wiles to manipulate. The temptress. She relished that role even then, though she's blossomed into it fully over the last five centuries. She gloried in turning two sets of brothers against one another, and she's severed the bonds of friendship by turning on those who care for her, so she can survive. Obviously I am not immune to her... but I recognize her for who she is."

He paused, watching her for her eyes to soften. But she remained steadfast in her resistance of him, and he gave a barely perceptible nod before continuing.

"And Tatia... she was sweetness personified, except when it came to loyalty. She wasn't cunning like Katerina - she didn't so much seek to pit Niklaus against me. But she longed to be the center of attention. Any new suitor gave her pause even though she was already in the midst of enjoying the affections of another. She never fully gave her heart to anyone. If she hadn't perished at the hand of my mother, I'm sure she would have left both my brother and I in the dust."

They stared at each other for a few moments as she processed his disclosures. Elena waited for him to continue, and Elijah waited for her reaction. "But I remain on some impossible pedestal?" she asked finally, and he looked down as he gave a self-deprecating chuckle.

"We all have our flaws," he replied with lingering humor before his expression turned serious. "But you have an integrity, a loyalty that your predecessors lacked, one that I haven't seen in many. I see how even when you harm others to protect yourself, you're conflicted. It doesn't sit well with you, though there may not be another option." His hand rested on the edge of her hip now as she tilted her head to the side, her mind lost in his ardent poetic assessment of her character. "You hold your head high like a queen, Elena... a regal air emanates from you naturally. That's how I knew it was you the moment you said my name yesterday. And that is what captured me from the beginning."

"And you think she's still here somewhere, the human girl who has your heart?" She managed to keep her voice from cracking, stopped her eyelashes from fluttering against the tears that wanted to wet her eyes. She wasn't sure what it was about his words, but she'd had a flash of longing for the girl she was before the night on the bridge. And she was filled with an infinite sense of loss, until she pushed back far enough against it into comfortable numbness.

"Yes," he said.

She couldn't tell if he'd noticed her split second crisis, but he did appear sincere. About all of it. And that left her wondering why she was fighting so hard against him. But if she let him in, that meant she had to let it all out.

"And I am here, Elena," he said, his voice low with reassurance, as though this was their secret that he wouldn't reveal to anyone. "If you think it's time to let the walls down, then that's what I will help you through. You are strong enough to reconcile this."

His face was only inches from hers, and she stared at him, searching as deep as she could. Here he was, the man who had experienced more loss in his multiple lifetimes than she could fathom, who had lost two of his beloved brothers at her hand, and yet for some reason he remained loyal to her. Something within her that drew him to her beyond his proclamations of family above all. He'd chosen her, long before this. She just hadn't realized it at the time.

The script of his letter played through her mind - _always and forever_ - and before she could stop herself she was rolling up on the tips of her toes, grasping his face in her hands. She paused just to memorize the look of surprise and blissful relief on his face before her mouth connected with his. And then that was it.

_Elena_ had burst across the switch.

She clutched at Elijah as though he were life itself, and he was desperately kissing her, torrents of emotion passing between them and raining down, the salt of her tears mixing with the sweetness of their kiss. She wasn't sure she'd ever felt this much passion in her life, not even through the intensity of the sire bond when she and Damon connected, because this was pure. Untainted by obligation or anything supernatural. It was simply a kiss, borne just of their mutual volitions. His hands were gripping at her waist, her ribcage, though, as if they couldn't get close enough. And she wanted more.

He must have sensed the alignment of their thoughts, and he scooped her into his arms, carrying her leisurely to the bed. It was as though he needed to relish the moment that she had all but admitted she wanted him. He was silent as he gazed down at her, thumbing away tears before their lips met in a tender kiss. He took his time as he undressed her, and the gamut of emotions she'd ignored for the last few weeks washed over her. Grief, guilt, lust, loss, love... it was all coming in waves of feelings and flashes of scenes. But Elena focused on him, watching him discard his clothing on the floor next to her dress and jacket, and Katherine's shoes. Then he slid over her, his hand clasping hers. His mouth found its way to her breast from her neck, and her back arched under his attention. Her eyes closed and she couldn't help thinking about how surreal this had become. If anyone had suggested two days ago that she would be in Elijah's bed at this moment, with her emotions coming full force, she would have laughed. But right now there was nowhere else she wanted to be.

She realized this was how it needed to happen. Maybe how it was _meant_ to happen, if one believed in fate. She still wasn't sure she did, even after finding out how much of her life thus far had been destiny, all weaving together too perfectly. But for some reason the universe kept throwing Elijah in her path, and her in his, catching them off guard until it culminated into this.

He slid inside of her and the room echoed with their gasps and moans. Everything was more raw, more real, more vivid than she recalled. Maybe because the bond was broken. She wasn't existing in a daze any longer. His arms rested to either side of her head, his lithe fingers brushing away locks of hair from her eyes so he could focus on her. He was completely in the moment with her, as their friction neared its precipice. Somehow she could tell he wasn't thinking of his previous loves - just her - and this eased any doubt she'd had in her mind. There was no wistfulness in his eyes or nostalgia. Nothing melancholy. Just the king and his rediscovered queen.

After they met their bliss, she laid in his arms, silent. Somehow knowing he understood her emotions eased the pain. It didn't stop the tears from falling, here and there, and she knew the loss of Jeremy would haunt her forever, serving as the final marker of the family she'd lost after everything she'd done to protect them. But Elijah remained next to her, in quiet solidarity, twisted in the same painful destiny she'd endured.

She was beginning to think they were kindred souls cut from the same fabric. And it was reassuring to know he recognized the same of her, that in some bizarre twist across a millennium, they'd found each other.

His embrace stood guard around her as she drifted into the first unencumbered sleep she'd had since her ordinary world had been turned upside down.


	5. Chapter 5

He was immobile as a statue, perfectly carved marble save the subtle rise and fall of his chest. Watching him breathe was charming in its own way - they didn't _need_ air as vampires, but it was one of those human instincts that lingered after turning, apparently for a full millennium. And it reminded her that despite how long as he'd been a vampire, he still carried many human traits and vulnerabilities. He didn't show that side to many but he trusted her enough to let his guard down, at least a little.

Elena carefully lifted his arm from her hip, his hand from under the rounded curve of her belly, drew her shoulder from under his chin and cheek. Then she held her breath as she slid out from under the sheets, certain that the rebound of the mattress would wake him if nothing else had.

But still Elijah slumbered. She was surprised he slept so deeply - actually, she was amazed Originals slept at all. Katherine's death, Elena's charade and his campaign to flip her switch - not to mention a contest to see how many times she would cry out his name in the early morning hours - must have drained all of his energy. But it gave her the window for the solitude her psyche needed. Her emotions rolled and twisted turbulently just under the surface, and she couldn't sleep anymore. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the face of her brother or one of the Salvatores, or Bonnie and Caroline and Matt. It had kept her awake for the hours he slept. Maybe he was emotionally exhausted, or maybe he had a certain peace now that she'd nearly admitted her feelings for him. He was the only thing keeping her afloat now that her emotions threatened to rush back and overwhelm her - was she a similar anchor for him?

Her fingers paused in the air near his jaw, longing to touch him but at the same time knowing she needed space for herself. Just a few hours. She reluctantly picked up her clothing from the floor and gingerly reached inside the pocket of his trousers, retrieving both his spare room key and her cell phone that he'd snatched once he realized she wasn't Katherine.

Elena waited until she was in the lobby to slip into the bathroom and she splashed water on her face, staring at her dewy reflection in the mirror. There was a definite change around her eyes, a harshness that was fading, replaced by regret. She let out a deep sigh before hurriedly throwing on a little makeup in an attempt to add color to her cheeks. She wanted to look more alive and less sullen. Healthy rather than stressed.

Once she was satisfied that the dark circles were adequately camouflaged and her lips sufficiently pink, she was out on the street. Grey dim light filled the horizon as she stepped through the front doors of the hotel, and she breathed in the chilled early spring air as she headed to her next destination, her heels echoing as she clicked along the sidewalk. She made a mental note passing along shoe stores that weren't open yet - she needed a more sensible pair of shoes for the rest of their trip. And she needed to talk to Elijah about what the rest of this journey entailed. Homesickness for Mystic Falls and everyone she'd left behind was building, and she worried about it becoming overwhelming. It was odd, her emotions were returning in the same intensity that the switch made her not care previously. She took a deep breath, knowing that she could handle this. She could grieve and mourn that she was here and her brother wasn't, but he wouldn't want her to waste the life she had by allowing herself to become incapacitated by his loss. Deep down she knew that, under the tears that stung at her eyes, the hole that she felt would never heal in her heart, the grief at the edges that wanted to suffocate her.

She stopped abruptly, realizing she'd reached her destination - a massive glass walled skyscraper. The Sears Tower, the tallest point in Chicago. It was well before business hours, but Elena only wasted a second before compelling her way past the guards, climbing the dozens of flights of stairs in an effort to burn off nervous energy.

She was surprised Elijah wasn't behind her by now. Not that she was doing anything wrong by exploring - but it felt rebellious to leave without telling him.

She needed to prove to herself that she could be alone, and be okay.

Finally she reached the sky deck, a glass cocoon that somehow reminded her of the cozy bedroom window seat back home that no longer existed. She had felt the urge to watch the sunrise, that glorious event which also raised fear in her stomach as it could smite her from the horizon. Still, she remembered the many mornings she spent in the window seat, journal and pen in hand, watching the first rays stretch across the sky. She felt contemplative today, and old habits were calling her name. But in a city of skyscrapers, she couldn't watch it from the ground. Elena took a deep breath as she stepped cautiously onto the glass, testing her weight. Then she sat on the floor and gazed out at the open air all around her, seeing for miles over the urban landscape. It was exhilarating to feel as if she were suspended in the air, a thousand feet above the ground - the sort of thrill she had missed for so long. She'd spent the last few months running from everything, fighting everything... Klaus, Stefan, Damon, Alaric, her vampirism, the sire bond, a cure, the switch. She hadn't had one moment to _live._ Her life had been constantly running to the next obstacle, and she had missed so much. She hadn't even mourned the loss of her humanity, and she'd been constantly stifled by everyone's concern for her. But here, over a thousand miles from home and sitting literally static in space - she could take a time out and breathe. If she had a journal and pen, she could've spent the day spilling her thoughts. A campaign to repair her soul that had suffered since her parents died, since the rollercoaster that were the Salvatores had entered her life.

But she only had her phone. And as the sun broke over the horizon, violets and fuchsias and orange piercing through the indigo, she began to dial. It was early, but she had to make amends. She listened to the ringing and said a silent prayer for forgiveness.

"This had better not be a joke."

Damon's voice was tired and guarded, maybe a little surprised. Her stomach flipped and seconds passed before she could force any words through her open mouth.

"I-I'm sorry," she blurted out.

"Elena?" he said. "Are you okay? Where are you? Has Elijah hurt you?"

"I'm fine," she breathed. "Elijah hasn't done anything to me - he wouldn't, I promise. And I can't tell you where I am. But I want to apologize for how horrible I've been."

She heard shuffling in the background, another muffled voice - the brothers were together. Not that she had suspected any differently.

"Tell Stefan I'm sorry too," she said.

"Okay," he said cautiously. "But the switch..."

"It's gone. I'm back." Her voice was shaky and nervous.

He sighed, and she could hear the relief in his tone when he spoke again. "Let us come and get you," he suggested, and the tinge of pleading pulled at her heart. "We won't try to push the cure on you. That was wrong."

"Please, don't - don't beat yourselves up over it. This has all been a mess, and I know you and Stefan thought it would fix everything." She drew in a deep breath, pausing to brace herself. "But for now, I need to stay where I am. I just knew you both must be worried out of your minds, after what happened to Katherine."

"Yeah, well, about that." He sighed again, and she could picture him leaning over, elbows on his knees as he rubbed between his brows. "Rebekah lied. Katherine gave her the cure in exchange for her freedom. So she's on the run again. You need to be careful."

"Katherine didn't die?" Elena was disappointed to find out that the elder Petrova still survived. She had hoped Rebekah had subjected her to a long, drawn out, tortured death. But she couldn't blame Rebekah for taking the opportunity to become human.

"No. And that cure was a fake. We have no idea where the real one is, but Silas has been trying to shake everyone up to find it." He was quiet for a moment before he continued, and his voice had softened again. "I'd feel better if you were here."

"But I..." Her voice trailed off. She wasn't sure where he thought things stood between them now, and how exactly she should frame this. "I need to stay here, with Elijah. He's helping me. I'm still a mess, Damon, but somehow he's helping to ease the grief. I need to get back to a level place before I come home. I promise it won't be forever," she added quickly at his grunt of dissatisfaction.

"I don't trust him," he tsked.

"I know, but... he's always had my best interest in mind. It's not any different now." She bit at the inside of her lip. "I'll explain everything when I get home. It won't be long - I think you're going to need my help with Silas."

"If I had any idea where you were, you know I'd be on my way in a second. We only stopped back here to get Bonnie's help."

"A locator spell," she deduced flatly. She wasn't panicked over them potentially showing up here, but she was annoyed. "I shouldn't expect anything less. But if you really do feel bad about trying to force the cure on me, then you'll respect my decision to stay where I am and not interfere." There was a stubborn silence between them, and she added, "At some point you have to _trust_ me, Damon. You can't always force your decisions on me."

"I can't make any promises," he answered, his irritation apparent under his quiet tone.

"Well, neither can I. To you, or Stefan. As sorry as I am for hurting you both, I'm remembering why I felt so suffocated. Maybe - maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe I should have left the space between us."

"Elena-"

"Goodbye, Damon. Good luck trying to find me."

She ended the call, turning off her phone as she shoved it into her pocket, angry tears welling up in her eyes. All of this, both of them... their obsession with her was so frustrating. Yes, Katherine had murdered her brother and she wouldn't ever forgive her for it, but they had been so consumed with finding this cure that they forced Jeremy into the role of vampire hunter and ruined everything between the siblings. She let out a strangled sob at the memory of Jeremy attempting to stake her. She couldn't let her memories of her brother to be reduced to that. Sometimes... she wished she had never met the Salvatores. But she wasn't so naive to think that this trouble wouldn't have found her regardless. Klaus would have ended up on her doorstep; she could have been dead now. And worse - she may have never met Elijah.

Tears began to roll down her cheeks, and she felt guilty for wishing them out of her life. If they had any idea what would have happened to her, to her family - she knew for sure Stefan and Damon would have stayed away to protect her. It wasn't a crime that they loved her. But she wished with everything she had that Jeremy was here with her now. Maybe he was... he'd felt strangely close ever since she flipped the switch back last night. Her mouth twisted.

"I miss you, Jer," she whispered, pressing her fingertips against the glass. If someone could see heaven or the other side, it would surely be here. She squinted her eyes, searching the clouds and sky for some sign from him. But there was nothing.

The first few nights of her vampirism reminded her of this, testing her senses on the Salvatore roof and searching the air for some sign from the great beyond, while ignoring the tension between her and the brothers both in love with her. She felt guilty about everything that had happened in her name, everyone who died for her crusade. She wasn't any more special than the rest of her friends and family. And yet they laid their lives on the line for her.

Like a queen.

She swallowed around the ache in her throat, knowing she didn't deserve all of the reverie and loyalty. And she'd hurt both Stefan and Damon, though it wasn't intended. But if she had been stronger... maybe she could have resisted what she had felt for Damon, stayed with Stefan, ignored the bond... instead of being stubborn. Not that it mattered now. The guilt bubbled over as she imagined what their reaction would be when she returned to Mystic Falls on Elijah's arm. All of that effort, all of the fighting... all in vain. Because she wasn't theirs. She never really was, not for long anyway. They were there when she needed them, and now she'd grown beyond them. They'd served her like loyal subjects, generals in her personal army... and now she'd found her king.

She sucked in a sharp breath as the depth of her feelings for Elijah slammed into her, threatening to knock her legs out from under her. She shakily laid on the glass floor, closing her eyes. She hadn't ever had a fear of heights but right now she felt dizzy. This was the amplified intensity they spoke of with vampirism. This was why he pushed against her switch without even trying.

She wondered what would have become of the sire bond if Elijah had ventured into Mystic Falls after she turned. Because right now... Oh, dear God. The thought of him ending up with Katherine was enough to make her retch. Of never seeing him again... she clutched at her stomach. She was relieved that he returned the feelings she felt, that seemed to turn him equally inside out. The way he looked at her...

The sun shining between the buildings now burned at her eyelids and she could hear employees shifting through the corridors around her. It was time to leave. Both her glass walled sanctuary and probably Chicago. She needed to tell Elijah that Katherine was still alive.

She slipped out of the tower unnoticed thanks to vampire speed and began her trek back to the hotel. She stopped long enough to snag two lattes from one of the several Starbucks she passed. They may have been immortal, but caffeine never hurt.

Elena tried to smooth her demeanor once she was in the hotel elevator, not wanting Elijah to realize how upset she had been. She didn't want to radiate the frustration and despair and guilt that flowed just below the surface. But she couldn't hide her shock once she opened the door to the suite. If she could have moved her legs, she would have walked back out. But she was frozen, unable to make a sound.

It took a moment for Elijah to notice her, but once he did he was in front of her, blocking the doorway.

"You can't leave," he said calmly, though his dark eyes beseeched her.

There was so much she wanted to say, seeing Katherine standing in the middle of the room, her fingers buttoning his shirt. Now she stood alone, arms crossed, watching Elena and Elijah jealously. But Elena's mind was racing... where would things have gone if she didn't walk in at that moment? Her insecurities over Katherine and Elijah's bond were still fresh, despite any reassurances he made. He'd allowed Katherine to touch him... god, she was such a _fool_. Not a queen. Never his queen. Just a whore, the replacement in his bed.

"So you didn't kill her. I'm surprised."

Elena turned to see Katherine sauntering closer. "I can't stay," she muttered as she turned her glare back at him.

"And your emotions are back. How... interesting. I never would have pegged Elijah as being the one to bring that about." Her twin narrowed her gaze on the Original. "A little suspicious, Elijah. Don't tell me you have a soft spot for her too."

"Don't start, Katerina," he commanded. "It's no business of yours."

Elena hoped for a moment that he would take her in his arms, rub Katherine's face in the fact that she was the superior Petrova in his eyes, the one he loved. That Katerina was his stand in for her. But meeting his gaze, she felt dizzy as the truth set in. He was shocked, yes, but also relieved. He shouldn't have cared. But it was clear that he did. Katerina still had some hold on him. She felt her heart breaking.

"So then let her leave. Let her go back to the brothers she stole from me." Her eyebrows raised as if in a dare.

"I thought you were dead," he seethed through clenched teeth. "And you will drop it."

"Not if we're together."

"After hearing how you murdered Jeremy Gilbert - "

"And you're going to believe her?" Katherine exclaimed incredulously. "She hates me. Of course she'd try to turn you against me. Elijah..."

Katherine was in Elijah's personal space now, all seductive eyes and lashes, and Elena's stomach churned. And he wasn't pushing her away. She just couldn't. She couldn't handle this destiny of constantly trying to prove her worth and authenticity in the shadow of her doppelgänger. The one at whose feet they always fell, despite their constant insistence otherwise. And yet she always fell for it. Oh God, she was going to be sick...

She managed to wrench her way through the door as Katherine pulled Elijah closer, and she sped down the hallway and the stairs. The coffee was forgotten in a garbage can on her way through the double doors. She fumbled with her phone through dazed tears, and Damon had barely answered her call before she was begging.

"I need to come home."


	6. Chapter 6

The flight wasn't nearly long enough to work through her emotions. She was still a wreck inside when the wheels touched down on the runway and her legs shook as she stood up to exit the airplane, her head swimming as she obsessed over Elijah... with Katherine. What they were doing now. How Katherine was probably gloating over the fact that she'd upset Elena and made her run away. Her cheeks burned, but she knew she had to pull it together. As she entered the gate, she spotted the familiar jet black hair and piercing blue eyes dutifully waiting for her. She took a deep breath, forcing herself to project an air of confidence and apathy. But she almost lost it when Damon unexpectedly crushed her into his arms. Her eyes squeezed shut, guilt welling up as she fully realized just how worried he'd been.

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" he asked as they embraced.

_Yes. My heart is obliterated_. That's what she wanted to say, but she just shook her head. "Katherine showed up."

"I just don't get it," he sighed as he pulled away, his arm lingering around her waist. They began to walk. "I don't know what he sees in her. She's selfish and conniving. How he could team up with her..."

"You fell for her too." She gave him a pointed look, and his mouth quirked in a sour manner. "You and Stefan both."

"Yeah, but he's one thousand years old. He can sniff out people's intentions from a continent away." His expression softened as he gazed down at her, and he leaned down to place a hesitant kiss atop her head. "At least you're home. And safe for the moment."

"Until Silas searches me out," she muttered, but she gave him a soft smile when he squeezed her to his side again. "Thank you for helping me out."

"Anytime."

She drew in a subtly shuddering breath when she caught the way he looked at her, a rustle of faint butterflies. A remembrance of what attracted her to him even when she was human. It was still there, but it felt weakened compared to the blazing explosion of chemistry between her and Elijah. And as easy as it would have been to just let herself fall back into Damon - it was what everyone expected, anyway - she couldn't lead him on if her heart was tied up with someone else. She ached for him, the unfairness that he would think her attraction was only based on the sire bond, though it wasn't true. They needed to have a talk, once she felt calm enough. But right now, they were both fragile and she wasn't sure it was worth the disruption to even discuss what she'd discovered she felt for Elijah. It was better to forget, as he wasn't hers. She had already decided to go back to playing the same cards as before, breaking as few hearts as possible while mending her own. Which meant letting them both down gently.

They made their way through the other passengers and corridors into the bright sunshine of the parking lot. She leaned against the passenger door of the dusty blue Camaro, tucking a wavy strand of hair behind her ear as she looked up at him. He watched her through squinted eyes, and she could see his guard ready to lock into place.

"Look, Damon," she started, "I do love you. But with everything that's gone on..."

"It's Stefan," he finished with a grimace.

She shook her head. "Honestly, I don't know who it is. Everything has changed. Stefan and I aren't the same... I don't know that we even fit together anymore." Her voice softened at the turmoil on his face. "I don't regret anything that's happened between us. It probably would have anyway, without the sire bond. And I know you tried to help me through everything. You accepted me, like this, when no one else could. And you didn't give up on me."

"But I listened to everyone else instead of letting you be," he said quietly as he linked his fingers with hers, their glances meeting after gazing down at their joined hands. "And I made you flip the switch, even though you trusted me."

She hated how he blamed himself all the time, as though she didn't play any role in her destiny. "But I was a wreck... I don't know that I would have functioned otherwise."

"I should have helped you through it."

"Maybe, but at least now the sire bond is gone."

"That it is," he murmured, and then he was leaning in. She hesitated for a second before she lifted her chin, allowing their lips to meet. Her eyes drifted shut, and her mind conjured up the rush of adrenaline from the first time they _really_ kissed. Still, it wasn't the same as Elijah. She worried now that since she had experienced him once, no one else would be able to take his place. Her gut clenched at the thought that she'd lost him. She wished she'd never kissed him, and what all that led to. At least she could have gone on with the rest of her life, just curious about the odd sexual tension whenever they encountered one another. She wouldn't have known what his mouth felt like against hers, his fingers spanning her hips to pull her closer. She wouldn't know what she was now missing. And Damon could never be his replacement. It wasn't fair to pretend he would. She reluctantly broke the kiss.

"Sorry," he breathed. "I couldn't help it."

"It's okay," she said, trying to speak around the lump in her throat.

"No, Stefan and I agreed that we were both going to back off for awhile, give you space to figure everything out." He smirked. "But when I saw you coming through the gates today, I knew I had to bend the rules a little. One last taste, I guess. At least for now."

She nodded. But inside she wondered what their reaction would be when everything figured out didn't include them. "I think that's probably the best idea," she agreed. "I can't keep coming between you both."

Elena pulled herself from his grip and slipped inside the car. She heard him sigh, as though he were going to protest the rift she'd pushed between them, perhaps worse than Katherine even though she'd always been honest in her intentions. That was the part of herself she hated. She shouldn't have ever let herself become attached to Damon... she ended up hurting them both because in trying to be his friend, she fell for him. And for what? To end of falling back out, leaving the damage between the brothers. They would heal, yes... that she knew. She wasn't so arrogant as to think she'd forever ruin their bond. She wasn't that special. But there would be scars. And if they continued in this cycle...

Damon reached over and turned on the radio, some old Rolling Stones tune.  
_  
"I can't get no satisfaction..."  
_  
And he hummed along, his fingers tapping on the steering wheel, making a conscious effort to ignore what she'd said. Normally this may have left her annoyed, because they didn't sweep things under the rug. Not usually. Instead they hashed it out until they fought to the blunt death and weren't speaking. But maybe he sensed the shift. He was quite sharp under normal circumstances, and when it came to Elena...

Tears burned at her eyes again but she chose to focus out the window. It was easier to ignore the chasm she was creating between them.

oOo

"I don't understand. You stayed with him, even though he didn't force you to?"

Elena groaned as she faced Stefan's suspicious inquisition. She regretted burning her house down in a funeral pyre for her brother, as it left her no other place else to go. She was this close to calling Caroline instead, but she wasn't sure those rapid fire questions would be any less intense. Not to mention that Caroline knew her inside out and had feminine intuition. She would be on to Elena in seconds.

"I just... I don't know. I was tired of fighting with everyone, and I needed a break." _Five minutes_, she thought, Damon's refrain from their Georgia road trip echoing in her head. "Plus he helped me, with the switch. But then Katherine showed up."

"You're lucky." He sat next to her now, his arm stretching along the back of the sofa. Damon had retreated upstairs after they returned, and while she was glad they weren't teaming up with the interrogation, she also didn't love being left alone with Stefan. There was no buffer. "After what you did to Kol, and then him thinking we finished Katherine off..."

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "He would never physically harm me."

"He tried to, trapping you in the caves with Rebekah."

"He was desperate. And that was a bluff."

Stefan's eyes narrowed. "How do you know?"

She drew in a deep breath as she chose to divulge what she kept as her little secret for months. "He wrote me a letter afterwards, apologizing. Admiring me for my compassion and my devotion to my family." She looked down at her hands in her lap. "Always and forever."

"Really."

She glanced back up. "He doesn't make such statements lightly, Stefan."

"No, I'm aware of that." And his mouth was set in a thin line, recognition and displeasure at what this signaled.

She waited to see if he would say anything more, broach the more intimate subject, but he was quiet. She wanted to tell him, but she didn't want to rake his heart through the mud over what would likely be nothing. Maybe the suggestion was enough. He surely didn't want all of the details. And either way, she couldn't go back. She needed to get on her feet, away from the push and pull of the Salvatores. This was just a temporary landing - she couldn't let herself get sucked back in. Maybe someday they could be friends, but she was aware now more than ever that they needed some space.

There was a knock at the door, and she silently thanked whatever deity above for saving her from that awkward conversation. Stefan left the parlor to answer it, and her heart dropped through her stomach as she heard his greeting.

"Elijah. Interesting that you would turn up here."

"Well, I'm sure you can understand. I'm here to see the lovely Elena."

Her brow furrowed, and she jumped up, hurrying into the foyer. The voice wasn't right. Nor the face...

The handsome stranger smiled at her. "And here she is,"  
he greeted, taking a step over the threshold. "Hello, Elena."

She crossed her arms as the chill of realization spread through her, Damon's stories of disguises and trickery afoot in Mystic Falls. But she raised her chin defiantly.

"Hello, Silas."


	7. Chapter 7

A wide smile spread over Silas's face, and they stared at each other, oblivious to Stefan's bewildered expression. Elena felt déjà vu as she took in his youthful features - wavy light brown hair, hazel eyes, straight nose, full sculpted lips. A little older than her, and a stranger - but not. She felt as though she'd seen him before, though she knew she hadn't. And yet to Stefan he looked like Elijah. An impressive visual trick, the result of millennia of power.

"I'd heard you would recognize me, but I wasn't certain it was truth."

Her arms stayed tightly crossed against her chest, not in the mood for any flattery or charm. "Why are you here?"

"As I said before, for you. There's much to discuss." He waved his arm out to the porch. "Alone. A walk perhaps?"

"She's not going anywhere with you," Stefan interjected, positioning himself between them.

"As if you could stop me?" Silas looked amused, though there was menace in his eyes. A millisecond later he had lifted Stefan against the doorway by his throat with so little effort that the vampire appeared to be as light as a feather.

"Let him go!" Elena shouted, rushing forward. Silas threw his hand up to block her and she stopped just before making contact, invisible electricity crackling dangerously in the air. What that was, she couldn't begin to guess... but from Stefan's expression she knew she hadn't imagined it.

"You will put my brother down." Elena glanced behind her to see Damon stalking down the staircase, murder in his eyes. "And Elena's staying right here."

"I fear that's where you're wrong." Silas's hand quickly released Stefan's neck, instantly entering his torso with a sickening thrust to keep him pinned in the exact same spot. From the look on Stefan's face, Elena could tell it was excruciating and her stomach churned. "Either Elena comes willingly and you both stay behind - alive - or I make Elena come along and you both stay behind - dead. Your choice."

Damon snarled but Elena panicked at the sound of Stefan gurgling, blood coming from the sides of his mouth. "I'll go. They'll stay behind - just let him go. Please."

Damon's jaw set as he glared at her but right now it was her or Stefan, and she couldn't have Stefan's death on her hands. Ultimately, Damon would have to understand. They were caught, no other choice. Silas was too powerful, too quick. If she died... well, she would take that chance. But for some reason she suspected that wasn't the case.

Blood smeared down the door frame as Silas dropped Stefan to the floor. The younger Salvatore panted, palm and fingers spreading over his gaping wound to try to span the distance. Elena swallowed nervously, watching Silas hold out his clean hand to her. She hesitated before taking it, and then the house was a blur behind them.

oOo

They ended up in the woods, near where Elijah had brought her before stomping a hole in the earth and trapping her in the caves. She felt dizzy from traveling faster than vampire speed, and she swirled once her feet touched the ground. Silas caught her arm before she lost her balance, and his expression left her uneasy.

"Thanks," she said stiffly as she steadied herself. She drew herself away from his grasp and cleared her throat before cutting right to the chase. Something about him made her skin crawl, more than the obvious, and she didn't want to be with him any longer than necessary. "Why can I see you?"

"You have no idea?"

"No. Was I supposed to?"

"Maybe, if Bonnie had figured it out. But she must not have gotten that far yet." He squinted at her, shifting his weight into a cocky stance as he regarded her. She sighed at his silence, watching him weigh how much he wanted to divulge.

"I'm leaving," she declared after a couple of minutes. She turned on her heels but he was right in front of her, their chests nearly touching. She gasped, and his eyes flickered with gold highlights as he stared her down.

"You run, I kill every last one of your friends. Even Bonnie once she's served her purpose. It doesn't matter where you go - you won't escape me, Elena. So either cooperate, and this can go smoothly, or suffer. Your choice."

She trembled under his glare, cursing her visible weakness and the fact that she had to give in. "You wanted to talk," she said through clenched teeth. "So then talk. Stop wasting my time with these games."

"Fine," he answered. He slowly backed away, and she allowed herself to take a breath. "You can see me because you're a doppelgänger. I can't fool you, or get into your mind."

She frowned, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "I thought you were thousands of years old. If Tatia was your true love..."

"Who said Tatia wasn't a doppelgänger herself?"

Her eyes widened ever so slightly, though she shouldn't have been surprised. Nothing was ever as it seemed, and apparently the Originals weren't all that Original, now that Silas showed up.

"And who ever said that the doppelgängers arose because of Klaus and his hybrid curse? That's an appropriation of ancient magic by Esther to serve her own purpose."

Elena narrowed her gaze. She wasn't exactly warmed by Esther when they had met, and to hear that she used Petrovas to her own end... she couldn't say she was surprised. "Why would she do that? And how do you know this?"

"I'm the oldest immortal being, Elena. I'm tied to the earth and Qetsiyah's spell. Suffice to say that though I was desiccated, I still have knowledge of what occurred to that end." He glanced around the land, scuffing his foot at a spot. "Here. This is where they murdered Tatia, to stop her."

She crossed her arms uncomfortably. "From what? I mean, coming between Klaus and Elijah was hardly reason to kill her."

"That was their alibi. The truth was that Tatia was about to leave the village, embark on a pilgrimage that she felt compelled to take far north..."

An image of the cold, rocky Canadian landscape formed in her mind, "To you?" Elena asked quietly, puzzled though the pieces were beginning to connect.

"Beautiful and brilliant," he smiled, pleased at her astute observation. "All human doppelgängers have a draw to seek me out. Tatia would have sacrificed herself to resurrect me, and Ayana and Esther feared the end of the world. Esther collected Tatia's blood for own purposes - to create vampires, and then to place a lien against the doppelgänger bloodline to solve her hybrid problem. And seeing as the next two doppelgängers became vampires, it broke the connection. Ours was gone the second John gave his soul for yours during the sacrifice."

Elena was quiet for a long moment as she processed the fact that her prophecy, whatever it was, had existed far before the Originals ever did. Her head was spinning as she tried to make sense of the fact that being a Petrova doppelgänger meant being fated to a short life, as the first had also died tragically at Qetsiyah's hand. Bonnie's bloodline. How odd that they were best friends in this life.

"I don't understand, though," she said eventually. "If you've already risen, what need do you have for me? I don't have your cure."

He smirked. "The cure was never for me. The legends had it wrong, trying to train the hunters for my demise. I don't ever want to die..." He ran his hand along her cheek and she froze at how cold his touch was. "The cure is for you. The latest Petrova. It would have resuscitated the doppelgänger I drained, and once the other side opens, I will find Anastasia. In order to bring her back, the human doppelgänger has to trade places and then the other side is sealed once again."

Her mouth parted in horror and her clasped her chin, her jaw in his hand. Not tight enough to bruise, but so that she couldn't look away.

"You don't have a choice, Elena. You will do this if you want your loved ones to live."

He released her roughly, and she exhaled sharply through her nose as the tears began to sting around her eyes. She didn't want to die, but the part that terrified her more was the memory of Anna and Pearl and Lexi each existing alone in this void, for the rest of eternity. She didn't know what she expected if she died as a human, but at least the idea of being reunited with her parents brought her some solace in her darker moments. Being faced with purgatory... she wished for a moment that she was as calculated and selfish as Katherine, that she could have let everyone else perish without any guilt so as to escape this inevitable suffering. But she couldn't. And she wasn't sure that there was anything she could do to save herself.

"Fine," she whispered. "But none of us have your cure. So you're out of luck until you get your hands on that."

"Oh, but you will," he smiled. "Because if Katerina had it, I'm pretty sure it's in Elijah's possession now. And if you smile and say please prettily enough, he won't be able to resist your request. I'll give you one week to get him here. After that, I can't make any promises."

He began to walk away but she sped up behind him and gripped his shoulder, whirling him around.

"You said you wouldn't hurt anyone if I cooperated," she challenged.

"I make the rules here, Elena," he reminded her gruffly as he peeled her fingers away, bending back until she cried out. "And I don't negotiate."

She heard the cracking of bones before he let go, and she fell to the ground with a sob, holding her limp arm. She cursed loudly, squeezing her eyes shut against the searing pain. When she opened them again seconds later, ready to retaliate, he was gone.

* * *

_A/N: So yeah, Silas has his own face in this fic, that only doppelgängers can see (in case that wasn't clear). He can't fool them by pretending to be someone else like he's done to the others. Plus he doesn't look like Stefan in this because I don't even know where they're going with that and it's too confusing. I'm not even sure that isn't a ruse on his part, though if it is true I bet it would somehow explain why Stefan is a ripper. Anyway- hope you all enjoyed the chapter! _


	8. Chapter 8

Elena leaned against the door, taking a moment to brace herself after she returned to the Salvatores'. She'd spent hours in the cemetery until the sunset blazed across the sky, mulling over how she was going to approach the matter of the cure. Working herself up to lying to Elijah.

She exhaled slowly, opening her eyes to the sound of cautious footsteps approaching. Damon stood a few feet away between the parlor and the foyer, watching her...waiting for her to speak. She'd been gone for hours with their new arch-nemesis and he was obviously concerned and curious. But she shook her head almost imperceptibly, her signal that she just couldn't rehash the details right now. Her mind was swimming. Not to mention that they would _freak out_ when they realized she had basically agreed to martyr herself again. But she hadn't had any other choice, not if she was going to make it out of there today with her already-dwindling circle of friends intact.

"Fine," he muttered. Then he raised his chin, regrouping. "You have a visitor."

Her eyes widened, and her stance became more rigid. "Who?" she asked. But he was already walking back to the parlor and ignoring her question. She was curious who had him so perturbed.

She reluctantly followed, and her breath caught in her throat as Elijah stood to acknowledge her presence.

"Elena," he greeted calmly, though his eyes were anything but.

She crossed her arms. "What are you doing here?"

Her mouth was dry but she managed to get the words out. She'd only left him twelve hours before but it felt like it'd been weeks, maybe a month. And it was only made more awkward by the presence of Stefan and Damon. The brothers watched them warily, and she knew it had to be apparent from their body language that more was going on between them than their usual intense acquaintance.

"You left in such an abrupt manner," he began, and she noticed how his hand shifted in his pocket, as though he was fighting his urge to reach out and grab her hand. He continued in a softer, apologetic tone. "We need to talk. Give me a chance to explain everything."

She let out a nervous sigh, glancing at Damon and Stefan. The elder Salvatore's jaw was clenched, eyes subtly narrowed. Stefan's arms were crossed, his mouth pursed in a scowl. Her stomach flipped. She ran an anxious hand into her hair, opening her mouth to stammer but Damon cut in.

"I don't think so," he said with barely concealed icy contempt. "Her day's been eventful enough, between escaping your kidnapping and then encountering Silas this afternoon. It can wait."

He'd come to stand beside her, his arm wrapping around her waist and his hand resting on her hip possessively, and she closed her eyes to brace herself against the spinning in her head. She almost couldn't bear to see Elijah's expression as he watched them. But she forced herself to look after a few seconds, seeing how his brow wrinkled in dissatisfaction. He looked as though he wanted to wrench her out of there, demand an explanation... but he was far too gentlemanly for that. Instead his mouth twitched.

"Silas has been to see you?" he finally asked, choosing the most neutral subject under the circumstances.

She nodded, eyelids fluttering. The room was closing in and she was sure a panic attack wasn't far off.

"And did he threaten you?" He looked positively murderous now.

"N-no," she answered, fearful of sending him on a suicide mission if she said otherwise. She could tell he was ready to grill her, and she couldn't have that in front of the brothers. It was going to be hard enough to pull this off with just Elijah as her audience. "Let's talk."

Elena pulled herself out of Damon's grip, taking a step toward Elijah. She glanced back at her ex, noticing the faintly wounded expression on his face.

"I'm sorry, Damon," she said sincerely, moving to catch his hand.

He didn't squeeze back or say anything. He remained a silent storm of rage as he knowingly watched her exit the house with Elijah. A shiver ran down her back at the showdown she would face when she returned. Which she would, because she at least owed him that explanation - even if it was after the fact. But she dreaded it.

Elena and Elijah stepped off of the porch together, though she left an intentional amount of personal space between them. She hated herself a little, that all she wanted to do was push him against the wall and fuse her mouth against his until he retaliated in kind. She uncomfortably shoved her hands into her pockets. He glanced at her, his gaze dark, but then he continued around to the side of his car. She stopped.

"No. We're walking. That way I can leave if I need to."

"You don't trust me?" He did appear genuinely surprised but she shrugged.

"I don't know yet."

"Fine." Elijah raised his eyebrows in that amused manner, and she bristled in faint annoyance that he could find anything funny about this situation. He spread his arms out. "Where to, Elena?"

She nodded her head to the side before she set off walking. He fell in step beside her, and the sun's last rays of the day were shining low when they arrived in the cemetery. She didn't bring him to her parents' graves, which were now joined by Jenna and John and Alaric's headstones, and a plaque commemorating Jeremy. She didn't want any of them to be witness to this weaker version of herself. She chose to stop at the large grey angel at the Fell family plot, the one with the kind yet melancholy face and curled wings who sat upon her stone pillar and watched over the deceased at her feet. Elena bit at her lip as she faced Elijah, her fingers lingering against the cool, curved feathers. She felt she needed protecting now.

They stared at each other, and she waited for him to speak. She couldn't imagine what he intended to say, though she was surprised that he'd left Katherine's side so quickly.

"Well?" she said finally.

"Damn you, Elena," he breathed before he crashed his mouth into hers.

His one hand held her waist, his other rested against the side of her face as their lips molded together. She was startled by his reaction, but she was powerless to stop him, as upset as she was. She felt the chilled stone against her back as he pressed further, ravenous for her. Her mouth yielded to him, and his tongue found hers, deepening the kiss. She moaned against him, drawing her leg up against his side and he growled as she pushed her center against his, resulting in a appreciative growl. She was operating on instinct right now, and her base self just wanted him.

He pulled away after a few minutes, lips swollen and eyes dazed. Their chests heaved together, and his forehead rested on hers as they caught their breath, tried to find their right minds under this overwhelming attraction.

"What are you doing?" she asked in a shaky voice.

She hated the rush of emotions that flooded her now that she was in his presence. His hand reached up to cup her face again, but she pushed him away, rolling out from under his embrace. She heard him curse under his breath, but she was enraged now.

"Elena -"

"No," she said as she stumbled back, holding up her arm in a feeble attempt to keep him at a distance. "You can't just _do_ that!"

"Do what?" he asked, smoothing his suit and taking a ginger step forward.

"That! You can't kiss me and pretend that I didn't find you in Katherine's grip this morning. I'm not just some sexual fill-in for her."

He brought both hands to the top of his head, running them through his hair in frustration. He looked up to the sky, as if he needed some divine guidance in how to deal with her. "Of everything I've said to you, you still think you're the inferior one in my heart?" he asked when he met her gaze again. His hands were held out now as though he didn't know what else to say.

"What do you want me to think? You didn't even come after me," she said, her voice breaking.

"I know, and I'm sorry - I _wanted_ to." Elijah's expression was so apologetic that she wanted to believe him, though she forced herself not to. "But the opportunity eclipsed us... if I had chased you, she would've been gone."

He was moving toward her again, and Elena took another step away, scared of losing her resolve if she ended up in his grasp again. She glared at him until he stood still.

"So what? Let her go. But let me guess - you didn't tell her everything you told me. She doesn't know that you're supposedly madly in love with me."

"Did you tell Damon?" he countered. Elijah smirked at the way her expression faltered, but she could see the jealousy in his eyes. "I didn't think so. It didn't serve your purpose at that moment, I imagine."

She hated the way he expertly twisted it back around, though his point was solid. Still... "I thought we were over," Elena said, shrugging. "So there wasn't much to tell Damon. It's not like we've been 'together' since I turned the switch off. I don't owe him a play-by-play."

"Somehow, I don't think he quite agrees..." he mused, allowing his voice to trail off.

"Well, what about you? Did you sleep with her? Or do you owe me that information?" she snapped back.

"No, I didn't," he answered coolly. "And I didn't have to tell her how I feel about you. Apparently my face can't hide that, from what she says." His expression softened, and he sighed. "I'm inclined to believe her."

She gnawed at the inside of her lip, trying to fight against the mixture relief and despair threatening to drown her. Because she felt like she was waking from one nightmare just to be sucked into another - Elijah hadn't lied, he did love her, but she still couldn't escape Silas. He pulled an object from his jacket and held his hand open to her. The cure sat in his palm, and a chill ran down her spine.

"But I needed this. An obligation to my family."

She only nodded. "It's safer in your hands than hers."

"And I thought you'd be safe with the Salvatores until I could come to you and explain everything. I didn't realize Silas would seek you out."

"I'm alright," she insisted against his suspicious gaze.

She knew now was her chance, without the influences of Klaus and Rebekah, or Stefan and Damon. She steeled herself against what she was about to do, how much she hated herself and Silas for it. It was funny how she would hurt the people she loved just to protect them.

"I just... I've thought a lot today, Elijah. The last few days - months, even - have been such an emotional roller coaster, and I can't live like this." Her eyes filled with tears, but that wasn't an act - she could tell he knew what was coming from the distress appearing on his face. "I've decided I want the cure. I want to graduate, go away to college and move on from all of this."

"But the past isn't going to suddenly disappear. And... what about us?" he asked. He closed his eyes briefly after the words fell out, as though he cursed himself for letting his emotions show to her at all when she held the power to decimate him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. And she truly was. She didn't want to wound him. Yet she continued on. "I miss being human more than anything. And if I don't take it, it means Jeremy died in vain. I think you can understand that."

He regarded her quietly, taking a moment to push the emotions back under the surface. "As much as it would devastate me... I can't be selfish and insist that you stay a vampire. But it's suspicious that you're coming to me with this request after you met with Silas earlier today."

Her heart fell as she watched Elijah tuck the cure back inside his jacket and he suddenly seemed twenty feet tall as he moved to stand over her. Intimidation emanated from him and his narrowed eyes.

_Dammit... he's onto me. _

And she could swear he was almost smiling, playing with her like a cat with a mouse as he spoke.

"Be straight with me, Elena. What is this really about?"

* * *

_A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews last chapter! They are greatly appreciated & I love hearing at our thoughts. I promise I will reply soon - right now I'm out the door to work._


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Sorry this is ridiculously short - work and life have been consuming me. More soon, I hope. Also, I've started a Tumblr (designed for me by the lovely Vero) & Twitter - links in profile. Thanks for all of the reviews last chapter! I appreciate the insight - gave me lots of food for thought._

* * *

_No, no, no._

"What do you mean?"

"Let's stop with the games." Elijah could see the fear in her eyes, she knew, and he sighed. "I'm on your side. But how am I supposed to help you if you won't allow me to?"

She looked around, extremely nervous about who could be lurking where. "I don't want you to get hurt," she answered quietly. "Or my friends."

"And I will do everything to protect them - short of sacrificing you." His eyebrow arched, and she was reminded of Damon's similar proclamations. "So what does Silas want from you? Why is it imperative that you take the cure?"

"He pretended to be you."

Elijah looked surprised - this was a curveball he wasn't expecting. "So he suspects our connection."

She shrugged. "Either that or he knew Stefan would be less likely to challenge you." She moved closer, her voice just a tinge above silence. "I knew it was him."

"Not me?"

"No," she confirmed. "Because doppelgängers can see him. He can't get into our heads."

Awe washed over his face, impressed by her singular ability, but his gaze quickly narrowed. "Yet you're still giving him... something. What does he want with _you_, Elena?" he repeated.

"My humanity," she whispered. "He needs me to be human, to end all of this. To give him his Petrova - the _first_ - back."

"And then what happens?" he asked.

Elena could tell he already knew the answer from his wary tone. Still, he insisted on hearing it from her. Maybe he thought making her say it aloud would make her realize the mission was insane. What he didn't realize was that she already knew it was crazy to think Silas would keep his word - but short of at least acting like she would carry out the plan and involving as few people as possible in helping her, she didn't know how else to keep everyone safe. And there was a good likelihood that she might lose her life anyway in an attempt to take Silas down. But it was a risk she was willing to take if it meant no one else perished.

"Then... I'm gone. On the other side, for the rest of eternity."

His glare pierced through her, incredulous and ready to crucify her. "And you thought I would let you go through with this?"

His voice was a near growl, ready to reprimand her for even considering for a second that she would leave him behind. But Elena didn't _want_ to - that was the cruelly unfair detail. She belonged with him - the truth that she couldn't ignore. And he wouldn't have been this irate if he wanted Katherine, if she were just another doppelgänger. Her mouth opened to protest, but he was going on, moving in closer and she stumbled in reverse till she felt her back against the statue behind her.

"You will not leave me, Elena. You can't. And to think you can negotiate with Silas is ridiculous." His voice wanted to command her into obeying, but she could hear the plea, how he realized she was a force he couldn't control. And there was frustration in his gaze, deep below. Her heart thudded anxiously against her ribs, his face now inches from hers. "You can't be a - a _martyr_ all the time, with your own agenda to save the world, just disregarding everyone who cares about you. _Fuck."_

The distress in his eyes was rising and Elijah pushed himself away from her on the last word, turning so she could only see his stance from behind. One hand landed at his waist, his other pressed against his forehead.

She rarely saw him lose control - even when he snatched hearts he was the picture of calm, cool elegance. This, though - this reminded her of when he implored her for Klaus's body. Or the way his face fell when she threw the sincerity of his letter back in his face. Elena bit at her lip, gingerly placing her hands on his shoulders. Her chest rested against his back and her lips were next to his ear as she murmured, "I-I love you, Elijah. But don't forget that I've been _your_ martyr since the beginning."

His posture softened at the accusation and she could feel him weighing his next move under her fingertips. "If that's what you think..."

He turned back around but he didn't touch her. His tongue ran over his lower lip, watching her for some flicker of recognition before he continued.

"Then you haven't been paying attention. Once I started to know you - you couldn't just be a means to an end, ever. And however harsh I may have been in the beginning... an understandable defense mechanism, in the face of another Petrova... it was never my intention to let you die for my brother. Ever."

A shudder ran through her at the way his eyes were fixed on her. He was so intense, and it made her uncomfortable that she'd ever thought of trying to cross him, even if it was in his best interest. Somehow he knew her as well as she knew herself. And it also meant that he understood what motivated these crazy schemes. But it didn't mean he'd go along with any of it if it wasn't in _her_ best interest. She was his ultimate concern, as she had been since the first moment they met.

Elena sighed as she shifted her gait, her resolve fading as she looked up at him. "So basically... I'd better get used to you being around. Saving me from myself."

"Basically," he replied.

The corner of his mouth raised just slightly, partially in amusement and partially in relief that she was agreeing to let him help her. Because he also recognized that she was a force unto herself, and she would fight him tooth and nail if necessary. His hands caught under her elbows, sliding to her ribcage to pull her closer.

"For eternity." His voice was soft before their lips met, a hint of a kiss. "And now that you're a vampire, I wouldn't want you any other way."

"Someone is selfish," she murmured, trying to infuse the moment with a lightness that she didn't quite feel.

"Completely, and I won't apologize for it," he answered. "I've loved you from afar for too long. This circumstance... maybe it's not ideal or what either of us planned for... but perhaps it's fate." His hands rested on her sides. "How else would we have found each other?"

"A thousand years apart," she added, voicing the same thought that had ran through her mind.

"Exactly," he smiled. "And I refuse to lose you now. I didn't find you after the last thousand years only to have you taken from me."

"So how do you propose we stop Silas?" she asked. She hated to ruin the moment but it was the main thought in her mind since her earlier encounter.

He tried to look reassuring, though she knew he was at as much of a loss. "I believe it's time we visit with Bonnie."


	10. Chapter 10

_a/n: thanks for all of the reviews last chapter! I shall respond soon. And be warned that this chapter is definitely M+++ rated, so if you're under 18... you shouldn't be reading! On with the show..._

* * *

Bonnie's eyes traveled over the grand foyer of the Mikaelson family mansion, and Elena didn't need to be psychic to sense the suspicion in her mood. But her friend remained silent, voicing no concerns until they entered the parlor.

"Really," she remarked under her breath. She stood in the center of the large room as one of only two humans. The rest were vampires, a tense crowd that never shared a room willingly. "If this doesn't seem like a setup... are you sure one of you isn't Silas?"

Klaus smirked, though he was similarly nonplussed. "Believe me, little witch, hosting you isn't my idea of a good time either."

"Enough," Elijah chided as he entered the room, his presence capturing everyone's attention. It filled Elena with a sense of pride that he still inherently commanded respect, despite everything that had happened. He was a natural born leader, and she found herself drawn to his elite status among vampires. But not everyone was expecting the elder Original.

"What's he doing here?" Caroline asked suspiciously.

"Oh, you mean Elena didn't even fill her best friends in on her new boyfriend?"

Damon's snarky tone barely concealed his anger. She sighed, crossing her arms. They hadn't had a spare second to talk yet, and he was practically baiting her into denying his accusation. To make matters worse, Bonnie and Caroline were staring at her as if she'd lost her mind. Everyone else watched curiously, waiting for the next jab to fly - even Matt, who was seated between his own pair of antagonistic blonde vampires. Everyone except Stefan, who was looking at the floor.

He knew, too, as Damon did. He'd probably gathered some semblance of what was unfolding when she couldn't explain why she hadn't left Elijah if he hadn't truly kidnapped her. But instead of retaliation there was a shocked, grim acceptance in his face. And Elena knew how bad it looked... not that she could deny any of it. She viewed it in a more romanticized light, of course, but it still wasn't anything she could defend. She didn't expect anyone else to get it. Only time would heal those rifts... and she hoped fate would grant her that time.

"That's not why we asked you to come here," Elena said, shifting uncomfortably under the sudden scrutiny but Caroline jumped to her feet, interrupting her.

"You and Elijah? Are you _serious?"_ She let out an exasperated sigh. "What _is_ it with you lately, hopping from guy to guy? What about Stefan?"

"Caroline-"

"There are bigger problems afoot than who Elena spends her time with," Elijah interjected. He was at Elena's side now, a physical barrier between the nuclear explosion Caroline sought to ignite. "Like Silas," he continued, pausing to shoot a pointed look at both Damon and a bristling Rebekah. "And yes. We are together. End of story. It's not open for debate or discussion tonight."

"You and those conniving Petrovas," Klaus muttered under his breath, but he held up his hands when Elijah fixed his icy stare upon him.

"Maybe not this second, but it _is_ getting discussed later," Bonnie said. Her chin raised and Elijah didn't challenge her as he had the others. Elena recognized the grudging dynamic between them as a result of their tumultuous history. Bonnie's mother was a vampire because of the Originals (though Elena could argue that she had warned them about siding with Esther) and Elijah had escaped with Klaus the night of the sacrifice before Bonnie has a chance to destroy him. Her mistrust was apparent. Though Elijah had been acting in the best interest of his family in both instances (and all vampirekind), Bonnie didn't forget or forgive his indiscretions. It left Elena uneasy; the situation was already tense enough.

"God, enough squabbling - let's get on with it!" Rebekah groaned. "What's the deal with Silas now?"

"Not yet." Bonnie walked to the table behind the sofa, pulling a variety of supplies and a bowl from her purse. She placed a stalk of bound dried herbs in the center of the clay bowl and struck a match. Soon, the smell of sage permeated the air, and her low chanting could be heard. She fell silent after a few minutes and slowly opened her eyes. "There."

Damon's brows narrowed. "What's that all about? Are you trying to get us high?"

"No," she shot back. "It's a privacy spell...courtesy of Esther. That way Silas can't hear us." She glanced at Elena again. "You're sure he's not here?"

"Positive."

"And how do you know that?" Klaus countered.

"He has a connection with the doppelgängers." Elena paused, knowing the hybrid was intrigued. "We can see him. He can't hide his true self from us."

He didn't say anything, though he shifted as if he were trying to stretch a tight muscle. Trying to pretend it didn't bother him that Elena was more powerful than him in one important way. But she could see through the facade, and she felt compelled to continue on, to show how much precious knowledge she possessed.

"Did you know Tatia was a doppelgänger too? And that's the main reason your mother murdered her? Esther and Ayana wanted to prevent the apocalypse that we're now facing."

"I find that hard to believe," Klaus said, a forced smile on his face. "Mother hated her because of the wedge she drove between brothers. Just like Katerina, and just like you."

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Believe what you want. But Silas showed me the exact spot where she was murdered. Near the network of caves, the grassy forest where the wild horses were."

She could see Elijah focusing on the floor in her periphery, and her stomach suddenly twisted. In taunting his brother, she'd overlooked how intertwined their history was, and how hearing about Tatia's demise would affect him. She swallowed before continuing, trying to soften her stance.

"He knew Tatia was trying to reach him, to feed him and revive him. And then he would have used the cure to revive her. Silas's long lost love is the original... Petrova, I guess. Anastasia. And he needs the human reincarnation to take her place on the other side. Permanently."

"Well, it's unfortunate that he's out of luck, isn't it?" Rebekah smiled saccharinely, itching to move past the history that set her brothers into a dour mood. "Seeing as neither you nor Katherine are human anymore, and there won't be any more doppelgängers."

"I have to take the cure."

Elena gave the blonde Original an apologetic glance. She knew how much Rebekah longed to be human. The proof was sitting right next to her in the form of a wholesome high school senior. And she felt guilty that she'd previously professed no interest in being human, but that she was stealing the chance away from the one person who wanted it desperately all along. It was unfair.

"Once the veil is dropped, he will find her," she continued, "and we'll switch places before the veil goes back up."

"And you agreed to such a silly notion? You truly are suicidal." Rebekah eyes narrowed venomously. "All while breaking poor Elijah's heart again. Cruel girl."

"Hey," Matt broke in, but Elena was irritated. She was annoyed that she felt compassion for Rebekah seconds earlier just to have comparisons to her ancestors thrown back in her face.

"Do you think I would willingly agree to any of this? No! But if you took the cure, I can guarantee you'd be dead in twenty four hours." She ran her hand into her hair, taking a breath and lowering her voice, trying to reign in her anger. "If you all want to die, then be my guests. Because that's what he's promised if he doesn't get his way. And while I think we have a plan of how to stop him-" she glanced at Bonnie and Elijah - "I still don't see a way around taking the cure and dropping the veil."

"Wait, so instead of just dealing with Silas, we'll have all of types of supernatural bad guys to battle?" Damon exclaimed. "This is your brilliant plan?"

"There's not really another option. Believe me, I don't like it any more than you do. But they'll disappear once the veil goes back up," Bonnie said. "Once we trap Silas on the other side. We just have to fend them off until then."

"And you'll be human," Stefan remarked, watching Elena sadly.

She bit at the edge of her lip, nodding. She knew where his mind was wandering... it was supposed to be her, human again, with him. And instead everything had turned upside down.

"So somehow you're going to stay involved with Elijah while you're human?" Damon's expression was more pointed.

"We haven't figured that out yet," she said.

"It doesn't matter," Elijah said, though she didn't miss the split second of surprise in his gaze. "Nor is it truly your business, Damon. The more important issue at hand is Silas. And afterward, when everyone is safe... then Elena and I will discuss it. But for right now, we need to be sure we're all on the same page. Any slip ups could be deadly. Understand?"

Everyone nodded, some more reluctantly than others.

Klaus raised his hand, almost comically. "And, pray tell, when will this all be taking place? Just so I know when to expect the boogeyman or one of the hunters to pop out from under my bed?"

Rebekah bit her lip on a smirk but Elijah narrowed his gaze. "Tomorrow night, I imagine. Bonnie and Elena will be meeting him tomorrow morning to set this up. We assume he'll be anxious to carry this out."

"Alone?" Stefan asked.

"No, I'll be close by," Elijah answered. "But it would be foolish of him to harm either of them, otherwise he loses his opportunity."

Damon was shaking his head. "The last time we trusted your logic, Elena ended up dead."

"Aw, he still cares," Rebekah crooned.

"Jealousy isn't flattering on you," he retorted. He avoided Elena's gaze, instead glaring at Elijah. "All I'm saying is that there's a better chance of things working out if there's more than just *you* there to save the day."

"Fair enough," Elijah conceded. "Then I expect Niklaus and Rebekah to accompany me."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Damon said, shaking his head. "You can't keep us out of this."

"Or me," Caroline added, pushing her shoulders back to raise her stature.

Elijah's eyebrow arched as he exchanged an amused glance with Elena. He was finally encountering the resistance she'd met through every battle she'd faced. They could be annoying, but they were fiercely loyal, even when she was at her worst. She knew just how lucky she was.

"And you think that won't be at all suspicious?" he asked.

"Not really. Why wouldn't we want to be there to say goodbye? We've been there through thick and thin. And who knows... you might need us. These things have a way of not going as planned." Caroline shrugged, but her expression made it clear she wasn't to be argued with.

Elena sighed. "I don't want you guys to get hurt."

"No, no, that's fine," Klaus said. "I'd be happy to give up my spot for the fair Caroline." He sent a burning glance in the blonde's direction, sending a blush to her cheeks. "Besides, it sounds as if there will be enough ghosts to tangle with in Mystic Falls. Someone needs to keep watch." He smacked his hands upon his thighs before standing. "And now if you'll all excuse me... I have other matters to attend to."

"Wait!" Bonnie called but he was already out the door. She sighed, holding up the sage. "He broke the seal."

"That's fine," Caroline announced, straightening herself and shaking off her flustered demeanor. "We need to have our prom committee meeting anyway. At your house, Bonnie?"

"Yes," Bonnie agreed. She turned to Elena. "You're coming too, right? I told my dad you'd be spending the night."

"I'll catch up with you guys in a little bit. Promise," she added after seeing the wary glance they exchanged.

"Well, as much as I'd love to invite myself along, Matt and I have some studying to do. History, my favorite subject." Rebekah gave a smug smile, knowing she was getting under Caroline's skin. Matt gave Elena a quick hug before they departed, whispering, "It'll all work out," in her ear.

She just nodded as he pulled away, suddenly feeling close to tears. She thought of the moment he walked in to see Jeremy lying dead in his room, how panic-stricken Matt looked and she felt despite her denial. They had to make it past this, right? This couldn't be one of the last moments they spent together.

Her other friends followed close behind the blonde Original and the quarterback, Caroline no doubt concerned about his well-being - with a serving of jealousy on the side.

"Tomorrow night," Stefan said, interrupting Elena's thoughts. "We'll meet you here." Damon just stood silent, apparently feeling raw after all that was hashed out in the open.

Elena cleared her throat nervously. "Yeah, I'll see you guys then. And... thanks for coming. Really."

"You know we're always there for you, regardless what happens." Stefan's gaze was sincere, though Damon looked as if he was swallowing down some choice words.

"Thanks," she said again, this time more softly.

It felt too awkward to give Stefan a hug, especially in the present company and with how fresh the wounds were. She settled for walking them both to the door, where they all said goodbye.

And then it was just her and Elijah as she leaned against the doorframe.

"That went surprisingly okay," she said, giving him a weak smile.

He approached her, appearing more serene now that their guests had departed. He took her hand and pulled her forward to him, their lips meeting in a slow, unrushed kiss. She slid her arms around his neck, her body flush against his.

"Mmmmm," he groaned, as he pulled her hips against his. She could feel his arousal, and she let out a gasp when his lips moved to her neck.

"I need you," he whispered, breath tickling against her ear. "Now."

His mouth attacked hers again, this time like a man starved, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. In the next moment they were in his room, his foot kicking the door shut before her back hit the wall. His hips kept her pinned, and she felt his hand traveling up her shirt. He separated his mouth from hers and pulled it over her head, humming his appreciation for the black lacy bra she wore. His dark eyes were lit with desire and she shivered as he stared at her. She could tell tonight was all about base lust. She bit at her lip nervously, and he chuckled.

"Don't be shy, Elena," he crooned, his hand along her face and into her hair. Then he tore off the rest of her clothing and she found herself sitting in the middle of his bed, watching him undress. He drew his tie slowly through his hands, contemplating his next move.

In the next second, the world was dark as he tied the fabric around her eyes.

"Elijah," she protested.

"Just go with it," he murmured from behind her, and she felt sharp teeth against her shoulder. She moaned as his tongue ran over the nick and his lips smiled against her skin. Silky pillows cushioned her bare form as he found his way between her legs, his thumb rubbing against her button. Her back arched, but he focused his attention upwards again. Razor blades scraped against her nipple, causing her to cry out in a mix of pleasure-pain, and seconds later she felt his tongue running down her side until his mouth nestled against her femoral artery.

The sting of the bite caused her to close her legs against his head and as he drank from her, she thought she might come. She remembered how infuriated Stefan had been when she fed from Damon, and now she understood why.

Elijah must have sensed how close she was because he stopped just before the fireworks set off behind her eyes. His mouth met hers again, and she could taste her blood. She moaned against his mouth as his fingers found their way inside her, curling and twisting in and out. Elena ground back against him, her kisses becoming more intense, her teeth finally catching his bottom lip and drawing blood. He inhaled sharply, his hands still as she sucked against the cut. She cried out as he shifted and entered her roughly. The pace was set, frenetic, and she was close to falling apart as he hit the right angle, rubbing against her clit as he filled her to the hilt, then drawing back out again.

"God, Elijah, oh, God," she breathed, her hands pulling at him.

He bit down again on her shoulder in response and she lost it. She could only moan incoherently and barely catch her breath as she reached her climax. He slowed, pushing as far as he could, and she was momentarily blinded by the intensity. She wilted against the pillows as she came down, wiped out.

"We're not finished yet," he said, still inside her. He pulled the makeshift blindfold from her eyes and she could see the sheen of sweat over his flesh, his pale skin flushed with desire. Her heart stuttered in her chest as he leaned back, pulling her atop him. His fingers gripped her hips, moving her spent form up and down on his cock. He stirred inside her, sending mini aftershocks of electricity to her core.

"Mmmmm," she breathed as she started to pick up the tempo on her own.

"Yes," he hissed, his eyes fluttering shut and his groin thrusting up to meet hers. "Fuck me, Elena."

This crudeness wasn't what she expected from the Original beneath her. But it was a turn-on nonetheless, and she felt a little smug in bringing that side out of him. His mouth fell open as she rotated slightly before slamming down and she was rewarded by his hand finding its way between them to rub at her. She continued riding him, small gasps escaping her with each thrust, and her own lust ramped up. It wasn't long before she felt him tightening within her, and his fingers were bruising her flesh as he brought her down with more and more force.

"Jesus, Elena," he moaned, with a grunt, and she knew he was close.

In the next second, she was pinned against the headboard as Elijah met the final throes, his hands cupping her breasts and his mouth nuzzled against her neck. She started to come again when she felt him release inside of her and he pushed a few more times for her benefit, his body shuddering against her from over-sensitivity.

They both collapsed into the bed, spent, Elijah's mouth fused to hers. For a second she suspected he may be ready for another round, but he rolled to his back, his arm capturing her tightly and pulling her to face him. Elena drew the covers up around them and she caught him staring at her, half-serious and half-amused.

"What?" she asked self-consciously.

"That was spectacular," he smirked, tracing a finger down her arm.

She blushed but nodded. It was just as intense as their previous union, if not moreso. She could only imagine what else he kept under wraps for her to discover. He let out a sigh, his eyes more troubled.

"Elena, you..." He sighed again. "Do you intend to remain human after this is all over?"

She swallowed thickly, as though he'd been reading her mind. Her emotions were still all over the map, from moment to moment. One second she was certain she was meant to be with him for eternity, and then the next she wondered if she should sacrifice her love for him to follow a human path... the path she missed desperately. She feared losing him, but she also feared losing her second chance. And if something happened that they didn't stay together, and she gave up her chance...

"I don't know," she said honestly. "I mean, if I'm taking the cure... I don't know how I'll feel after that. It wasn't my choice to turn originally, but I know you want me to stay a vampire..."

"I want to turn you."

His gaze burned into her, and she drew in a shaky breath. He wanted her to be his, completely. No trace of Salvatore blood in her, or any ties to his brother's survival. And to be honest, if she were going to turn, Elena wanted it to be him who sired her. But to have the opportunity to live as a normal human... to pursue her dreams, her career, have children and her own family... Those were still regrets that haunted her.

She had meant what she told him in Chicago - she didn't want to live her whole life in the shadows. And everyone else assumed that once this was all over, she would stay human. Because to them, Elena Gilbert wasn't meant to be a vampire.

She still wasn't sure herself where she fit in.

"I love you," she said, running her hand along his jaw, but he looked down, disappointed that his plea wasn't enough to change her mind. "Elijah, I don't want to give you up. All I'm saying is, I need to think. I shouldn't be so quick to throw away the opportunity without really considering what I want my life to be. It's not a chance that I'll ever have again. I'm not saying that I won't choose you."

"But you aren't saying that you will." The room was filled with silence and she panicked inside, waiting for him to continue. He finally let out a defeated sigh. "And I'm not the kind of man that would force you to choose me over the path you want your life to take."

"But?" she said, expecting him to elaborate. Instead he sat up on the side of the bed, picking up his clothes from the floor.

"Once you're dressed, I'll bring you over to Bonnie's." He stood, not meeting her gaze.

"Elijah, we can't just leave it like this." She grabbed his hand, and he finally looked at her.

"I can't right now, Elena." She thought for a moment he was going to break down, but he collected himself enough to shake his head. "Just... spend the night with your friends, and then tomorrow we have to focus on Silas."

"Are you mad at me?" Her voice cracked and she knew it was a stupid question. He'd been anticipating eternity with her, pouring his heart out, and she was effectively trampling over it. This is why he was guarded, and she was just reinforcing his walls with her current behavior. But she couldn't lie... she couldn't make him think everything was going to be okay and then completely change her mind once she took the cure. She at least owed him honesty, however painful it was.

He didn't answer her, only giving her one last wounded glance before he left the room.


End file.
